Up Up and Away!

Good afternoon, dear readers! I'm on lunch break at my new job and thought it would be a good time to say a little something...you know...trying to get that groove back, y'all! Blogging from my phone, friends! Let's start with a word for the day...Up...yeah...today is up! Yay for up days!

I was so tired this morning and already thinking about how I didn't want to go to work...and it's only the 2nd day! Sleep sounded so much more appealing! Y'all know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Then I was feeling super sick to my stomach...legit thought I was going to lose my breakfast. But I gave myself a little pep talk of sorts and tried to work some mind over matter magic...it worked! I dragged my butt to work and I've enjoyed the day so far...knock on wood...don't want to jinx anything!

So the day could have very well ended up being a down day...I could have called out of work and slept all day. First of all, that would have been a bad first impression for a new job! Second, even though my body was asking for rest, my mind was determined to make the day different! It has taken me so long, longer than ever before, to rise back up from the abyss I was suffocating in; it seems like even one step back will have me tumbling down again. And I'm just sick of it! (Heads up, strong language in this next sentence!) So fucking sick of it! Strong language finished for now haha!

Anyway! For all of you suffering and having trouble finding your way out of the muck...try getting angry with it...get sick of it...throw your middle finger up at it! Screw this crap!

All right, y'all...time to wrap up! My new job is a photographer position, but I like to keep work details private...so no company name or any specifics like that. I stopped photographing people years ago, except for the occasional helping a friend or family member out. It just seemed like the right time to find my way back to one of the things I've been passionate about since I was a kid...so far so good! I'm painting more and writing more these days as well! This must be the light at the end of the tunnel...I hope! Thanks for taking some time out of your day to hear about mine, darlings!

I hope those of you still hurting start to see and feel that light soon! Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Working Woman Again!
Amy

Fall in Florida

Autumn has always been my favorite season very simply because 1. My birthday is in October, and 2. I love the colors! However, as I grew older, the Fall time seemed to become shorter and shorter, and the winter began arriving sooner and sooner. There is beauty in the winter, but with age, my tolerance for the cold has diminished; and it's really not a good season for people with depression because of the lack of sunshine and being stranded indoors so often! I think I'll feel better this winter in Florida...I know it gets cold here, but I've heard that the winters are shorter in comparison to several other states. So I'm hopeful that it will be brief and that I will barely be affected! When I found out we were moving here, I was excited for warmer temperatures but anxious about my favorite season. I had heard that the leaves don't change colors here as dramatically as they do in places I'm use to, and this really kind of bummed me out! The leaves are definitely not as intense here as other places I've lived, but, luckily, there are plenty of spots of gorgeous color to enjoy! Plus there's also the added benefit of the much more pleasant temperatures! I took a little stroll around our condominium complex and took a few shots of those lovely little spots...I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt just so y'all know how nice the weather is haha! Anyway! I couldn't pick between some of the shots because of differences in composition and exposure and such, so you'll see some repeats! I hope you enjoy the sights on my walk!

Happy Fall and hugs and love, my lovelies!
Amy

(Images shot with Canon T3i and 18-55mm kit lens. Manual setting, ISO 800, white balance Sunshine. Some are SOTC straight out of the camera, and some have been post edited such as brightness, contrast, levels, and cropping.)

The Art & Photography of The Ro Fo Sho

Good day, dear ones! I've been doing a little bit of tweaking, creating, thinking, and planning the last few days. As I mentioned before, getting The Ro Fo Sho Art & Photography out into the public is one of my goals I wish to complete in under a year. This blog is the most important part of it because my stories and my struggles from my life and from my depression are what inspire all the crazy thoughts and ideas in my head! Those crazy bits floating around in there are lacking structure most of the time. It's also a challenging task to draw, write, capture, and share them in a tangible or even comprehensible way! This blog helps me the most. Here I can free write, ramble, talk it out, and be as nonsensical about it all as I wish...and y'all stick with me and my run on sentences and disjointed thoughts...which I very much appreciate! Thank you thank you!

So here's what I've been doing!

* Created a Facebook page to promote The Ro Fo Sho Art & Photography...click here. It looks like rubbish right now, and I'm honestly quite embarrassed to share it with anyone right now. I figure I might as well do it and hope that it motivates me to fix it up ASAP so I look a bit more professional!

* Simplified the layout of this blog. I don't know how to do any kind of customizing! I need an "about" section, "photography" section, "art" section, and probably some other stuff...I have no idea how to do any of that. So I just did what I could. I will definitely be looking in to classes or books or tutorials or something to become more knowledgeable in this digital age.

* Took some photos for the U.S.S. Iwo Jima's Family Readiness Group (FRG) for a a project we're working on for Sailors, Marines, and their families in preparation for deployment. It was a totally casual set up and most definitely did not illustrate my professional skills at all...but it was a bit of inspiration to start shooting again. And, although I hate all the post production that is involved in photography these days, I understand that I need to learn a little of it if I want to have any success in the field. But I'll still whine and complain...I miss working in a dark room!!! But anyway! Shout out to our FRG President, Ariel, for asking me to take pictures and encouraging me to get back in to my profession again!

It's a small start, but at least it's a start. It's been 10 years since I graduated from The Oklahoma School of Photography. My business name was "Immortality" with the catch phrase "Creating Everlasting Memories." Then my sister started calling me "The Ro Fo Sho" at karaoke, so it became a stage name you could say...and since it fit my personality so much, I knew it would be perfect for my creative side. Thus began The Ro Fo Sho Art & Photography by yours truly, Amy Ro Fo Sho! This was fun sharing this with y'all...I hope it was enjoyable for you guys and gals too! Any advice, recommendations, and such will be happily received and appreciated!

Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend! Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Love and Peace,
Amy Ro Fo Sho

p.s. I haven't prepared any new photos to share, so here's a look at the creation process of a drawing I did a couple of years ago. I'm not sure where the photo of the completed version is, but I'll get one and eventually share it.

A Little Bit of Serious, Fluff, and Nonsense!

Valentines Flowers from Tom

I hope the randomness of my posts aren't annoying for y'all...would you want me to elaborate more on one topic? I'm only thinking about this right now because what I've read, a successful blog has a consistency to it, from topic to how often one posts. I know my common thread has always been about living with clinical depression, but I don't talk about it in every entry. Hmmm...

Well that's a good thing! All of us living with mental illnesses know that it's not something we want to particularly ponder on a daily basis. Here's something for y'all to know; if I'm not writing about it, that usually means it's not affecting my day at all...those are happy days! But, today is a happy day even though I'm writing about depression...so when I'm writing about it, it's not that I'm having a bad day necessarily, but rather I just want to talk about it...remember what I've said?

Keep the conversation going!

Terribly sorry if that was all just a bit confusing! I've had a lot of coffee today!

Anyway! I just wanted to share a few things on my mind. So! Back to depression...let me tell y'all how it's going! I'm still trying to get to that wonderful place I was in not too long ago, and I've actually had some moments when I'm there again. I want to be there every day though, so it's still a struggle and a process. That's just a part of it though...one does not get better over night and sometimes not even after a few months. I think the time that it takes and the effort we put in to that time builds a stronger foundation for us to feel better and stay feeling better. So keep pushing!

I also want to share more about living with depression while being a spouse of a military service member and being part of the "military community." I'm always hearing or reading about how someone "could not imagine being committed to a military person" or "that lifestyle would be too hard for me." And then I read and hear the military significant others explaining that a "strong enough love is enough to get you through it" or "it's really not that bad." A strong love is definitely essential! However, it is a hard lifestyle with mental illness...life in general is a challenge with mental illness...but there are a good many more chunks of challenges when you become part of the "military community." I don't want to elaborate too much in this post today, but I do want to let y'all know that it IS something I will be talking about in the near future!

USS Iwo Jima Homecoming 2012

Now for a little bit of fluff and nonsense! For my husband's 30th birthday, I got him the new Samsung 5s...aaaaand I got one for me too! Lol I couldn't help it...he's been needing a new phone and I just really wanted a new phone! I'm not the girl who has to have a new model every year...but...I wanted one so that I could have Pinterest and Instagram and Candy Crush and basically all the good apps. It's perfectly fine to need these apps since I'm an artist and photographer and blogger, right? Right! I had an HTC Radar and it had a system that they had tried (and failed) to execute as an exclusive thing like IPhone and Androids...you know what I mean? Anyway...it was no bueno. Anywho! I'm especially excited to have Instagram again! Definitely not a fan of the barrage of selfies I see...seriously...how many times must one share the same silly expression or the same "sitting in my car" pose...drives me crazy! I love Instagram because it feels like taking snapshots of the world around us and adding filters and edits and such, makes the simple every day life all the more beautiful and special! Here are my latest little shares...

I made the collages using my app "A Beautiful Mess." I highly recommend this app and their lovely delightful blog! Photo apps are so much fun! It's like completely stress free photography for all of us professional photographers...we mostly just have to pay attention to composition and can basically forget about all those other little manual settings like white balance, aperture, shutter and all that good stuff! So yeah...I've been having fun!

All right I guess that's enough thoughts for right now. I've gotta start getting ready for work! Oh yeah! I work in a photo lab, so this month is especially relevant because May is National Photo Month!!! Yay!!! So get out there and print your photos, enlarge them, put 'em on a mug, transfer 'em to a canvas...so many fun things to do with your photos...don't just keep them on your phones, y'all!

Hope y'all have a beautiful day! Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Smiles,
Amy

"My Happiness"

this post goes with the previous post...but as you read the previous post, you should jump over and read this one too! does that make sense? well it does in my head...so there you go. you should know my head doesn't really operate in a way that may make sense. moving on! hopefully this will all come together as i try to explain the evolution of "ro fo sho art." to simplify it as much as i can...this journey to "ro fo sho art" has evolved and morphed from idea after idea...but it's all coming together now...i'm gonna make it all make sense...i hope! praying:)

the following was written june 1, 2008

i wrote a letter to myself when i was barely 14 years old. i couldn't open it until i turned 20 and somehow i managed to hold on to it that long. my sophomore year of college i was working in the library as a reference assistant... i did some assisting but i also had a lot of time to think... and something i was struggling with was my current major. it went from biochemistry to journalism and finally to elementary education... and elementary ed wasn't so appealing anymore. i jotted down notes and doodles contemplating, "what should i do!?" on october 9th, 2002, my 20th birthday, i opened this letter to myself... i honestly could not remember anything i had written. the letter asked if i had been kissed yet or had fallen in love all ready... and if not, there's something wrong! my 14 year old self commanded that i be in college and be making as excellent grades as always. my 14 year old self commanded that i be working my way toward becoming a professional photographer. i read this check point over and over and flashed back to some vivid memories. i don't remember the root of this passion. it's like it was always there hiding on the tip of my brain and all over my heart screaming and begging for my logical and practical ways to recognize that my artistic and outrageous ways could lead me in a direction that would not only be soul fulfilling but practical and logical and successful. national geographic took my breath away... took me all over the world. the vivid glossy pages took me up and up and up to this blissful place where the world was all around me just waiting to be captured. as a pre teen and teen i didn't read those magazines about cute boys and cute clothes (unless one of my friends had one) but instead couldn't wait for the next national geographic. it was euphoria. yes i know i'm a nerd. i collected the maps from inside the magazines hoping to one day travel from the anacondas of the orinoco river to the nebula in orion's belt... taking pictures all along the way. i tried to get into photography my junior year... this was the first year it was available to me and so as a sophomore i was sitting with my counselor and insisting that i take this class!!! well it was full... "but you'll definitely get in your senior year. seniors get first pick!" the little twit said! so as a junior i found myself sitting in the same counselor's office and again asking for the photography class for my senior year... "oh dear. it's all ready full." sad face from the idiot. tears were streaming down my face. i told her it wasn't just a blow off class for me... this was what i wanted to do with my future! you would think a high school counselor who is supposed to be preparing students for college would take in to consideration what they will want to pursue in college! but no. there was just no way around it. "sorry!" sad faced bitch. i guess in turn i accepted it as a whimsical idea and a path with no future. photography could just be a hobby. and then i met a certain young man the summer after my senior year who promised he would teach me photography... from taking the pictures to watching them come to life in the darkroom. and i fell in love with this guy. and ultimately my love for photography now included that love for that boy. but our time in the darkroom didn't involve lessons on photography... the darkroom was where he kissed me and said he didn't love me. the darkroom was where he told me he didn't want anything to do with me. i drowned in the red light with the smell of chemicals and his cologne and my tears suffocating me. photography became a reminder of a broken heart. but when i opened that letter on my 20th birthday, i didn't give him a single thought. he was gone from my mind and from my heart. i didn't think about that dumb ass counselor who i felt wrecked everything. damn she was an idiot! instead, when i opened that letter, that begging and screaming inside me jumped up and said, "hey hey hey!!!! now? can we start now???" and so that was my last year at college. the following summer i traveled to some unforgettable places and acquired some unforgettable memories... and in february 2004, i found myself parked outside of the oklahoma school of photography. i was so afraid! i never got the chance to learn anything about photography! i assumed that all of those people inside got to take classes in high school and they probably had mentors and guidance. i had dead ends. i was afraid i was going to look like a fool. but... i had the screaming and the begging inside me. i had the passion that had been a part of me since birth. i had the dream of a 14 year old girl who i just couldn't let down. so i walked through those doors. i made some forever friends. annie and emily (annabelle and dwinks) and i were meant to start that adventure that day together. i met abi. i met ron. and i met mike... i can't think about mike without crying. but this is another story all together. he is gone but he is remembered... i still ask myself what would mike think or say or suggest. here i am today. a supervisor in a photo lab. studio work and freelance on my resume. a certificate from a nationally accredited school that hangs above my desk saying, "This certifies that Amy Rose Conway has successfully completed the course of instruction and has been examined and found duly qualified as a professionally skilled photographer and lab technician and is hereby awarded this Diploma as an acknowledgment of her knowledge and in recommendation of her acquirements. Awarded this Seventeenth day of September, Two Thousand Four." i'm still finding my way and still learning. i'm trying to save money for the dream of a studio gallery i will own someday. i'm considering more schooling. i'm not jumping into anything on a whim but contemplating how to set myself apart and developing the strategy i will need to succeed. and ultimately i'm trying to figure out what it takes to become a master photographer in the eyes of my fellow professionals. ...and i have to rant a little bit. i've been reading so i know i'm not alone. myself and other professional photographers have recognized that we are at war with a new breed. photographers who claim they are professional and charging lower prices and taking clients away. this has spawned an idea of what looks professional... but ultimately the consumer is not getting what they deserve. sure it may be cheaper to hire that photographer who took that really great picture... but that photographer didn't give you what you could have had. a person can not just pick up a camera, take some good shots, and then claim to be a professional. we who are professionals have worked for that credential! we have studied photography and appreciated it and we continue to grow and learn year after year after year. we push ourselves to do better to be better to set ourselves apart and to provide the most beautiful, breathtaking, and truly amazing photos a person could ever have that will ultimately be the most tangible form of a memory one can ever possess. this is my story... it started over a decade ago... but it's nowhere close to being finished. I...AM...A...PHOTOGRAPHER.



well i don't have a photograph that i would really like to share, but i think every good blog post needs a picture...usually anyway;) so! here is "my happiness." it's random and weird, but i'm a random and weird person...and i'm hoping...praying...that my vision for achieving happiness for "ro fo sho art" can make sense of my randomness and weirdness...if that makes sense:)

Shooting More

in 2004 i went to the oklahoma school of photography and graduated as a nationally recognized professional photographer and lab technician. back then (which is kinda funny being as it's only been 7 years) digital photography had been around for a while, but my instructors were very skeptical that it would ever be as good as film. a year later, one of those guys (who i could actually go on and on about...and will probably do so later because he was such an inspiration to me...but not yet because that's not the focus here) bought a digital slr...and so a few months after finding this out, i bought the same one! i still use it...a canon 20d...i will not tell you about my lenses...because i will be embarrassed and sad...it's all about the lenses when it comes to photography...and mine are a major fail:( anywho and gumdrops! moving on! longish story short! i did studio work a couple of times. i did freelance senior portraits and weddings...did a quinceanera and some work events as well. worked in a photo lab for about 6 years and that only ended recently. out of all of these photography related jobs, the lab work was actually my favorite...even though it was a 1 hour lab without any requirement for the degree of knowledge i possess...my professionalism and the professionalism of the team i put together made this lab a well respected one with a nicely known reputation that extended to other states even! geez...here i am blabbin' about stuff that wasn't the point of this post! sheesh! okay so moving on yet again! i enjoyed the lab work and bits of the other stuff i've done...but none of these have ever been fulfilling enough!

my favorite part about being a photographer...the shooting i enjoy most...is capturing nature, unique perspectives, and scenes i find visually appealing. i'm just not a fan of shooting people...except for family and friends...i enjoy just candid photography of life with the people i love. maybe i don't like it because of the pressure...or the fact that my lenses are ridiculously amateur and humiliating. it doesn't really matter to me. i'm an over analyzer and therefore annoy myself too often...so if i can choose not to dwell on things too much, i go with that. my friend, roxy, and i use to go on photography road trips. we would get a map, pick a destination, drive towards it, and stop for photos and detours along the way. this was an all day adventure and man it was fun! we'd pack lunches and spend hours just shooting! she's married in kansas now and i'm married in illinois so our lives definitely took some dramatic turns...i miss shooting with her.

i miss shooting period! and here we come to the subject of this post! i need to take some photography road trips...start shooting just every day things that my little family and i do. i believe photographs are what make us immortal (which again is a post for another day!) and so i think about what i will have to show my future children and grandchildren. today i realized that tommy's xbox controller and his terrible mustache are things that should be documented:) the controller will probably look ancient in ten years and his mustache will be a good reminder of something to never do again!!! kakashi is a 6 month old puppy growing fast and is truly like a first child for us...i need to capture his every day behaviors in order to immortalize him too! so! for the remainder of this post will be some photos of our day thus far today:) i am challenging myself to take more pictures...capture more memories!












this is a pretty typical day for us:) tommy plays xbox. kakashi plays outside. i work on my art or other random things like this anklet a friend made for me a while ago...i added the clasp...yes my pinky toe is deformed...that is what happens when the toe is broken while it's still healing from another break...at least i have tiny feet...so my deformities can be considered cute! right? right?

ahem. so there it is! our day thus far:) obviously these photos won't make it in some gallery exhibit, but they are just as precious as any fine art to me!

Photography on the Porch

kakashi and i like to be outside...kakashi all the time...me when the weather is nice ;) this can cause some conflict, but that's not the topic today! luckily for both of us, the weather has been lovely since monday...sunny and warm with a gusty breeze. our porch faces east, so we get the direct sunlight before it gets too intense...and then as it falls behind us, we get plenty of shade. my fair skin does not like the sun...i freckle and burn...it's not fair. my sister and brother will both get brown in the sun...from our black and cherokee ancestry...but i got all the irish. tanning ages the skin anyway...i will maintain my youthfulness longer caring for my skin the way i do with spf. stevie nicks agrees with me. anyway! this is not the topic either! sheesh! stay on track woman!

i will tie kakashi up with enough slack so he can roam about pretty freely without getting in to places he's not allowed...like the marshy stagnant water hole in the middle of the pet area and other people's porches:) so while he lazes about in the grass, i sit on the porch and make lists or spend some time on the laptop...i'll draw or play games on my cell...or texts friends back home. but today was all about photography on the porch. it's truly amazing how much one can capture in any size space. i told y'all before that i was going to work on abstract photography...i believe that i made some progress with that today...but i need to work on the crop of said photos. i'm not really all about massive amounts of post production stuff...but i do like to play with the crop and contrast a little...sometimes i hit the "auto levels" tool. so i'll work on those and share them later. is a unique perspective considered "abstract?" well, there's some flowers...or weeds?...growing on the side of our porch...yeah i'm not good with identifying botany type business...anywho and gumdrops! i shot them from their undersides...which pretty much every photographer has done...but it's always still a unique perspective. so i'll leave you with a bit of my porch photography from today:)