Monday, October 26, 2015

Halloweenin' the House

I LOVE Halloween!!! And I have a weakness for Halloween decorations!!! Sadly, my bank account and credit cards are still recovering from last year's purchases haha! Anywho! I never share pictures of my decor in's always belated and irrelevant I suppose you could say. So! I'm going to share some photos of some of my favorite pieces...these are snapshots from last year, so the arrangement is different, but who cares haha!

So I might have shared these last year, but I don't have the energy to go back and check...and if you do..well all the power to ya! I'll snap some cell shots of a couple of other fun things I have hanging up later...Mr. Ghosty and Mr. Bones...they were handed down to me from my mama. Again, I don't have the energy or inclination to do that right now...I'm lazy sometimes.

Example A:

This is me right now...blogging and drinking Malbec out of my Halloween is a mess...keepin' it real, my friends...

I have lots more to talk about, but I want to keep this post light and carefree...a breath of fresh air is nice every now and then. The encouragement and feedback I received from my last post was, as always, wonderfully humbling and beautiful...we'll talk more about it later...just know how grateful I will always be for y'all...

What will you all be dressing up as for Halloween? I'm not sure what I'll be, but I'm pretty sure it will involve fake blood and crazy hair...'cause it's more fun that way!

Hugs and love, my lovelies!
Love y'all so much!

Friday, October 23, 2015

The Discussion Stays Open...

I've been working quite a bit...doing the housewife thing during the day and then going to my new job at night. My focus and energy have been on the new job, so my house work has most definitely suffered...still trying to find the right balance. So far I want to sleep as late as possible, then watch TV and be as lazy as possible, then get ready for work and go...this is obviously not going to be beneficial in any way. In addition to balancing paid work and house work, I need to make time for my art and for writing! Sprinkle in some depression and fatigue...well...y'all know the challenge...

Speaking of which! A couple of my very best of friends have been experiencing depression recently and the question I've gotten from both of them is, "How do you live feeling like this?" I know the initial weight when first confronting depression...the confusion and sadness and hopelessness and utter heart break...the tears and anger. It absolutely shatters me knowing that people I love are experiencing these emotions! And I wish I could give advice and answers that could crash through their darkness like the most intense ray of light imaginable! How have I lived the last 17 years of my life? Three factors. My mama has been on this journey with me since the beginning. The onslaught of emotions that left me staggering in soul wrenching bewilderment were very quickly identified by my mama...she knew exactly what was happening to me because she had been through it herself, so I've always had her support and guidance. The other two factors are a bit of a disappointment to hear, but the truth sometimes is...time and experience. I have had over a decade and a half to figure out how to live my life with an almost constant presence of darkness...a lingering shadow that has become a dark companion you could say...I've made wrong and right choices and decisions while in it's company, and I have learned what works and doesn't work. Drinking excessively does not work. Sleeping for days does not work. Shutting people out does not work. Opening all the blinds and letting light in helps. Talking about my feelings with a good friend or family member helps. Eating good healthy foods and taking walks in the sunshine help. Keep in mind, even though I know what I should and shouldn't do, it doesn't mean I always follow my own advice. But, it will be different for each individuals journey. I will keep writing about it and talking about it openly...I will continue to be encouraging...I will continue to share my ups and downs...the discussion stays open here.

I will find a balance in my life, and I will make a genuine effort to write much more...I'm so sorry for the long periods of silence! I know y'all understand how it goes with mental illness, but I believe I live with this for a purpose is to be a voice. To dismiss stigmas and misunderstanding and to force people to confront it and talk about it. And, I don't mean every once in a while; I mean constantly!

Alrightythen! Well! I wasn't sure which direction this was going to go when I started writing, but the passion for this topic suddenly became overwhelming! My thoughts seemed to flow effortlessly from my mind to my fingertips on this keyboard...thank you for listening, dear ones.

Being able to talk openly about my life with y'all is a part of my's something that helps heal me. I am grateful that you take time to read and understand...

Hugs and love, my lovelies,

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Damn Down Days...

Ugh. I had a decent amount written up, but somehow it did not's all gone...and I don't have the energy to try and remember and retype it all. So instead, I'm going to bombard y'all with pictures...a summary of sorts from my birthday weekend...

There you go...33 and a red head again...good times! Shout out to Bri, Elizabeth, Stephany, Danielle, Lyssa, my bonus family, and my beloved for the gifts, and treats, and well wishes...y'all made me feel loved!

I'm so blah right now!!! I have this uneasy sinking feeling in my stomach right now, and I can't figure it out. I've started training for a new job that I was initially extremely excited I don't know if I'm nervous or afraid of failing or just plain uncomfortable. I wish I could figure it out. I kind of just want to cry...I feel like how I usually do when my depression is dominating in my life. It's just this feeling of...dread...I can't stand it! Do any of you ever feel like that? Anyone have any secret magical fixes or cures?

Three and a half hours until I have to be at work for training...all I want to do is curl up and sleep. The word of the day is definitely down.

Hope y'all are having a much better day...hugs and love, my lovelies!

Still kickin'!
The Ro Fo Sho