Friday, March 31, 2017

Multi Part Story of The Ro Fo Sho Part 1

Yesterday sucked. My mama shared some concerning news from home and I had to work at my normal person job. I'll write more about the family worries at another time when I have more information. Normal person job needs no other mention.

Today I would like to get some photos taken of my new art and organize it all...ones I want to share/sell, ones I want to keep, ones I have no idea if anyone will like except for me...that type of organization. I need to have a day where I focus on the business side of The Ro Fo Sho Art and Photography. My friend, Stephany, took me out for lunch the other afternoon and I was telling her how I wish I could just focus on the creative process and have someone else manage the practical side, and she said she would love to do that for me someday! In truth, I've been imagining her as a business partner for some time now, so the idea sounds great to me! It will take some time to get to that point I'm afraid...a few have shown interest in my art, but I have no idea yet how well it will be received once it's really out there for all the world to see...which brings me to my next point...

I've loved art since I was a little girl...I can't remember a time when I wasn't drawing. My very first dream was to be an artist, but, as I've said before, I also realized at a young age that it wasn't exactly a guaranteed paycheck. Yes, I know children aren't necessarily supposed to worry about such matters, but I was different dang it. That is all I will say about that for now. Moving on! Art simply stayed a hobby for years and years. I didn't take the advanced classes in school and I never did perfect any skills. I watched and admired my friends progression and the creations they produced; they wouldn't even call me an artist! They were extremely talented in my eyes, so it never occurred to me that I might someday have a place in the art world.

In college I started developing my own style. It began here...

I grabbed my sketch book and oil pastels and started scribbling...I call this one "The Beginning," because it was the very first time I let my emotions direct the drawing...I let the images in my head fall to the paper as naturally as they possibly could. This was done in 2002 I believe...holy crap...15 years ago!

Unfortunately, my train of thought will have to take a pause for a bit...normal person job...ugh...had to mention it again. This may turn into a multi part story, dear readers, so please stay tuned...

Before I sign off, here's a selfie as I've composed this for you lovely people:





The internet world seems to respond better to selfies. Yes, there may be banana nut bread in my teeth.

Have a great Friday, y'all! I'll be doing the normal person job all weekend and try and continue this train of thought whenever I can!

Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Ro Fo Sho out!
Amy

Monday, March 27, 2017

Singing with The Judds Instead of Cleaning House...

My favorite days start with my record player, coffee or tea, and sunshine...days where I don't have to be at work until later and I can be lazy and thoughtful in the quiet time when my husband is at work (he has a loud but lovable presence, y'all). I need to be more productive during this time, however, and that's not always the case. I'll usually tidy a bit around the house, but the housewife thing is really not one of my strengths. My ideal productivity would include writing and creating! But...here I've sat for a good ten minutes or so after writing that last sentence just singing along with The Judds on vinyl and snapping photos with my phone to share in this little corner of the internet world! So! Now I need to walk my dog and start getting ready for work, y'all! But first!

Depression update: I'm taking 40 mg of Prozac every morning, and that's it. I stopped taking the Buspar mainly because I can't eat grapefruit while taking it; and that's not working for me anymore; I miss my grapefruit, people!!! The days are up and down as usual, but I've been getting more sunshine, and that makes an enormous different in my mood! My primary thought with regards to mental health is that sometimes the medicines and the therapy simply don't work anymore, and the best way to start feeling better is to just be sick of it...flex those brain muscles and fight around those chemical imbalances and or deficiencies...seriously...adopt the "fuck this shit" attitude! Granted it has taken me 20 years to get here, but maybe if I talk more about it, it won't take so long for others to start improving. And you know what? Over the past couple of years I've started seeing more and more people talking openly about their struggles with mental health, and obviously I think this is incredibly important. My message for a long time has been, "keep the conversation going!" The hashtag is #stigmafree and I love it!

Dang it! I'm on a cognitive roll and want to keep going, but my dog and getting ready for work are on a time limit now. Damn.

Anyway! I have some art to share, but it will have to wait. Hope everyone has a great week!

Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Singing all the time!
Amy


Thursday, March 23, 2017

Off

Word of the day (blogging from my cell phone) before attempting to sleep: off. My third day away from work before I return tomorrow and it did not go as planned...I was very simply...off.

Couldn't clean and organize like I had visualized. Couldn't muster the energy to cook any meals. Couldn't move very far from the couch. Now I'm here in bed and feeling the failure of a wasted day.

Off.

This is the reality of a life with mental illness such as mine with clinical depression. I can identify it, acknowledge it, give it the middle finger, and hope for a better tomorrow...sometimes that is all that can be done.

And so I leave you with some art from the previous two days that were wonderful and lovely (the days were wonderful and lovely that is; maybe not the art). The last photo was of a drawing made with light heartedness in mind but can be interpreted as quite applicable for this post as well I must say haha!

(Note: I haven't figured out how to size photos from the Blogger App on my phone so I apologize if they are annoyingly large.)

Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Off
Ro Fo Sho






Congnitive Streaming

There is this constant narrative running in my mind; and I try to have pencil and paper handy at all times, but I don't always have the opportunity to take them out and write my thoughts down. And then I'm sitting here in front of my computer screen with all this shit running through my head and I want to get it all out, and it's freakin' jammed. So I go back over what I wrote and I try to keep the thought going and it comes out disjointed and the backspace button becomes the most popular option. Let's hear it for run on sentences and the word "and!" Jeez.

I made some brunch, started some laundry, brewed some tea, greeted my husband just home from work, and put on some Miles Davis Pandora radio......here I sit once again trying to recall exactly what it is I intended to pluck from my cognitive streaming...

Depression? Art? Dreams? Music? All of it really.

Here is something for now, I suppose...I don't write as often as I should and I haven't been sharing anything about The Ro Fo Sho Art and Photography or how my life with clinical depression as been going. Let's just keep it short and simple...I'm still here, still Ro Fo Sho'in, still creating. The sunshine has been the very best medicine, and I've been spending most of my time outside on my screened in patio, so this is where I will leave y'all for now. Here are some pictures of my outdoor therapy experience...





I will hopefully be back a few more times today in between times when I'm trying to be a good housewife and not the hippie chick I fear my husband doesn't like so much ha! 


Hugs and love, my lovelies,

Peace
Amy Ro Fo Sho



Friday, December 2, 2016

Can't Keep Me Down

Oh dear, almost 4 months since I wrote last...I'm so terribly sorry! Jeez I need to be better at this! Well, last I wrote, I shared that I was feeling a slip in my depression and hoping that it wasn't going to evolve into a an all out down slide on the roller coaster. Unfortunately this is indeed what happened. First things first...dear reader, please don't share any of the following with my mama...seriously! She will be so worried and she has enough to deal with right now...I will discuss all of this with her eventually, but I don't want to talk about it over the phone with her; I appreciate your cooperation. Moving on!

Allow me to summarize this progression in bullet form:

* Started feeling the slip 4 months ago
* Felt like medicine wasn't helping enough
* Tried finding a psychiatrist with no luck
* Missed appointment in October
* Ran out of medicine in October (repeat: DO NOT TELL MY MAMA!)
* Symptoms of depression became worse and worse
* Basically had a break down and ended up in the ER the other day
* ER docs gave me some medicine
* Appointment on Wednesday

Good times. My break down happened at work in front of my coworkers by the way...yeah...good times. Ugh. Luckily, my manager was very understanding and knew from personal experience what I was going through...she actually went to the ER with me and was very supportive. My coworkers have been incredibly supportive and encouraging, and I am beyond grateful for that! My manager immediately began trying to cover my shifts, but I told her not to and that I needed to work. I went back to work the next day...eyes still puffy from excessive crying and visibly tired from the emotional toll, but I showed up and I did my job.

So I'll keep this short and simple. I live with depression and anxiety, and it's a bitch...no lie. I got knocked down on my ass and kicked in the ribs. But you better believe I'm stronger and more determined and this darkness will not dim my light. I'm going to keep on Ro Fo Sho-in'!

Still here, dear readers...hugs and love, my lovelies,
Amy...The Ro Fo Sho

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

"When in doubt, take a nap."

Y'all know how depression goes...ups and downs...it's a constant motion. My up time has lasted so long this round; one of the longest periods of time where I have genuinely felt GOOD! I have been feeling a little slip these last few days, but I'm staying hopeful that it's not necessarily an impending down slide. It's probably a combination of things...allow me to list them please:

1. I miss my family terribly.
2. I miss my friends terribly.
3. I'm working more hours.
4. I'm trying to be the best wife.
5. I'm trying to be a best friend.
6. I'm stressing over finances.
7. I'm stressing over The Ro Fo Sho Art and Photography.
8. I'm about to start my period (sorry male readers).

I THINK I'M SIMPLY OVERWHELMED! I've loaded up my plate with goals and ambitions, and I've set my bar high, and I'm already fearing failure. Failure. There's that trigger! Anyway! Y'all don't need to worry about me; I'll be fine. It's important for me to share that not every day is sunshine and roses...we must keep pushing forward.

I feel stuck with my art business...I don't know how to price my pieces, how to package them nicely for presentation and archival purposes, how to get the best reproductions made...I don't know how to do any of this. It will take time and I need to be patient and keep researching...I know this...but I'm really so damn impatient! Agh! Sigh...it's going to be okay.

For now I'll leave you with one of my favorite A Beautiful Mess Happy Mail pieces and a quick Prisma Color Nupastel drawing from a few nights ago called, "The Blue Lady."




There it is, dear readers...just feeling a little blue these days...and ready for a nap! Happy Tuesday!

Hugs and love, my lovelies,
The Ro Fo Sho

Monday, August 8, 2016

Space for My Dreams

My surroundings are very important to my creative process...comfort and noise control are essential. I have trouble focusing these days in my old age (haha), and so I'm easily distracted. Plus, my head is constantly overflowing with ideas, and it can be challenging for me to sort them all out. A lot of times y'all won't see me on the blog for a while because I'll be sitting in front of my screen typing and backspacing over and over unable to write anything that makes sense. For the past five and a half years I've had plenty of alone time, distraction free...my husband (Tom) was away doing Navy Sailor business more often than he was home. My dining room was my work space of sorts with my nice big table that served as a kind of mini office/art studio. These days my husband is home pretty much all the time now...shore duty in the Navy life doesn't take him away as much, and I'm truly grateful for that. However, I no longer had my own space for creating. You see, my beloved does not have a man cave; the living room is his zone...he's a gamer...and the living room shares an open space with the dining room. My handsome gamer does the online thing where he's playing with people all over the country and they're all talking to each other on headsets...being loud and talking shit to each other...being boys...it's very distracting...totally disrupts my concentration. I love it though; I love how much happier Tom is these days, and our relationship has improved greatly this last year. But, back to the story! We have an extra room, but we've had roommates since we've lived in Florida; they were a much appreciated big help to us financially! Now we are trying it on our own; no more roommates; and an extra room...all for me!!! The Ro Fo Sho Art and Photography officially has its own space...and it's time for me to get back to work, dear readers. Today I will be taking photos of all my original pieces with my DSLR camera, and I will be researching the best way to get prints made. My goal is to start offering originals and prints for purchase by the end of this month. Then I will focus on organizing my photography. I should probably add some "To Do" lists to my "To Do" list haha! Anyway! I'm going to try and take and share a little video of my new space...there is still work to be done as far as more organization as well as decor for inspiration...but I already love it in here...I will grow my business from here. As always, thanks for sticking with me, dear readers, and hugs and love, my lovelies.

Love,
The Ro Fo Sho


Also, please follow me on Instagram at Instagram.com/amyrofosho and like my Facebook page facebook.com/amyrofosho...please :) And always feel free to email me if you have questions or need to talk to someone about depression; remember, this little corner of the internet is where I share my art and my life with mental illness - amyrofosho@gmail.com