Can't Keep Me Down

Oh dear, almost 4 months since I wrote last...I'm so terribly sorry! Jeez I need to be better at this! Well, last I wrote, I shared that I was feeling a slip in my depression and hoping that it wasn't going to evolve into a an all out down slide on the roller coaster. Unfortunately this is indeed what happened. First things first...dear reader, please don't share any of the following with my mama...seriously! She will be so worried and she has enough to deal with right now...I will discuss all of this with her eventually, but I don't want to talk about it over the phone with her; I appreciate your cooperation. Moving on!

Allow me to summarize this progression in bullet form:

* Started feeling the slip 4 months ago
* Felt like medicine wasn't helping enough
* Tried finding a psychiatrist with no luck
* Missed appointment in October
* Ran out of medicine in October (repeat: DO NOT TELL MY MAMA!)
* Symptoms of depression became worse and worse
* Basically had a break down and ended up in the ER the other day
* ER docs gave me some medicine
* Appointment on Wednesday

Good times. My break down happened at work in front of my coworkers by the way...yeah...good times. Ugh. Luckily, my manager was very understanding and knew from personal experience what I was going through...she actually went to the ER with me and was very supportive. My coworkers have been incredibly supportive and encouraging, and I am beyond grateful for that! My manager immediately began trying to cover my shifts, but I told her not to and that I needed to work. I went back to work the next day...eyes still puffy from excessive crying and visibly tired from the emotional toll, but I showed up and I did my job.

So I'll keep this short and simple. I live with depression and anxiety, and it's a bitch...no lie. I got knocked down on my ass and kicked in the ribs. But you better believe I'm stronger and more determined and this darkness will not dim my light. I'm going to keep on Ro Fo Sho-in'!

Still here, dear readers...hugs and love, my lovelies,
Amy...The Ro Fo Sho

Screeeech....Crash!

This has to be quick; I'm just checking in really! The title of this post may sound familiar...think back on "Bam...Hitting the Brick Wall," and even as far back as "Depression Derailment...Ding Ding Ding!!!" There was a part two to that last one, but you get the picture! I'm just trying to tell y'all that life was moving along fluidly and pieces were falling into place, and then suddenly at the last possible moment the breaks were slammed and I screeched off my path and on to a new one! So! As I'm sure y'all can imagine, this caused a hiccup in my handling of my depression, and we all know how difficult it is to pick up and get going again...but I'm getting there...I'm recovery more quickly this time, so that is something I feel good about. Anyway! My plan is to get on here tomorrow and update y'all with the latest and greatest...but we'll see. All I wanted today was to say hello and I'll be back soon...life with depression and other mental illnesses can simply be unpredictable sometimes. I hope you are all well and wonderful! Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Peace out!
The Ro Fo Sho

Depression Derailment II

It's been 2 months! How did that happen?! Oh my goodness...I fail. I do apologize...I know I said before that I would not be absent for long periods of time anymore...but it's been a very stressful couple of months. Crazy, hard, challenging, and consuming couple of months.

Here's the scoop. Depression derailment. Ugh...y'all have heard about it from me before right here. It's not a case of my meds this time...I'll explain it more in depth to y'all later. I just wanted to check in today and say, "Hi, I'm still here!" My life basically went from limbo, to transition, to arriving at a new place with a load of problems and obstacles to deal with on my own...while trying to settle into a new home...a frustrating and utterly exhausting experience!

I'm going to summarize the last couple of months with some picture posts...each post shall be called "a photographic summary;" with minimal dialogue...only because there's so much to say and I don't have the energy to type it...pictures are more fun anyway! I'll try and start that tomorrow :)

Okay...I'm super tired...meant to go to bed earlier, but really wanted to reach out here first. I wish I had some words of wisdom or something silly to share, but my brain is empty this time. I'm getting back to my old self though...so hang in there with me, dear ones! I'll leave y'all with a little glimpse of what life looked like a little more than a month ago...chaos!

Goodnight and hugs and love, my lovelies!

Still here!
Amy