Friday, December 2, 2016

Can't Keep Me Down

Oh dear, almost 4 months since I wrote last...I'm so terribly sorry! Jeez I need to be better at this! Well, last I wrote, I shared that I was feeling a slip in my depression and hoping that it wasn't going to evolve into a an all out down slide on the roller coaster. Unfortunately this is indeed what happened. First things first...dear reader, please don't share any of the following with my mama...seriously! She will be so worried and she has enough to deal with right now...I will discuss all of this with her eventually, but I don't want to talk about it over the phone with her; I appreciate your cooperation. Moving on!

Allow me to summarize this progression in bullet form:

* Started feeling the slip 4 months ago
* Felt like medicine wasn't helping enough
* Tried finding a psychiatrist with no luck
* Missed appointment in October
* Ran out of medicine in October (repeat: DO NOT TELL MY MAMA!)
* Symptoms of depression became worse and worse
* Basically had a break down and ended up in the ER the other day
* ER docs gave me some medicine
* Appointment on Wednesday

Good times. My break down happened at work in front of my coworkers by the way...yeah...good times. Ugh. Luckily, my manager was very understanding and knew from personal experience what I was going through...she actually went to the ER with me and was very supportive. My coworkers have been incredibly supportive and encouraging, and I am beyond grateful for that! My manager immediately began trying to cover my shifts, but I told her not to and that I needed to work. I went back to work the next day...eyes still puffy from excessive crying and visibly tired from the emotional toll, but I showed up and I did my job.

So I'll keep this short and simple. I live with depression and anxiety, and it's a lie. I got knocked down on my ass and kicked in the ribs. But you better believe I'm stronger and more determined and this darkness will not dim my light. I'm going to keep on Ro Fo Sho-in'!

Still here, dear readers...hugs and love, my lovelies,
Amy...The Ro Fo Sho

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