Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Life's Art - "Hearts Hurt" & "Hearts Heal"

"Hearts Hurt"

well we've talked about the heart in peril...the abstract pain of the heart feeling genuinely beaten. damn it hurts! but that's simply a part of life...our hearts get hurt...and it's always a bummer. sometimes it's not as severe as that beaten feeling and sometimes it's unimaginably worse...but every and any pain is a tough time to have to deal with. our hearts get broken. our hearts suffer loss from death. our hearts get sick with depression and other illnesses. our hearts lose fire when we feel like we've failed. we can feel guilt, anger, uncertainty, betrayal, and whatever else you can imagine deep inside the chambers and vessels of our hearts...the unseen intangible emotions find places to bury inside the tangible organ...and it can feel...infected. cloaked in darkness. drowning in hell's fire. weighed down with tears. it hurts.

"Hearts Heal"

but as much as our hearts can hurt...our hearts can heal. it may take those lovely little cliches i mentioned before or it may take something else. sometimes we push ourselves to heal by seeking a new hobby or throwing caution to the wind starting over..like a new career...or even an extreme new hair style. sometimes it takes friends and or family to drag our asses up...and by doing so causing us to heal through their love born from concern. but maybe i'm being too vague.

my heart has been broken by boys, hurt by destructive choices, hurt by depression, hurt by conflicts with family and friends...i could go on and on. but the point i want to make is that i have hurt in many ways and have been healed in many ways too. there were times when i would have stayed home in front of the tv or in bed if a friend had not called, picked me up, and taken me out of the house and out of my wallowing. my mama always sees through me, and in the past if she hadn't made me face what was hurting me and offered solutions and support, i would have suffered longer than necessary. my heart was in pain and i turned to alcohol...and a new pain emerged....and i hurt myself deeper and deeper with destructive behavior. i hurt my family and friends...and therefore myself. but it took their worries and voices...it took my own self realization...it took prayer and meditation...it took time...and eventually my heart healed.

a healed heart is like being reborn...a clean slate...everything becomes possible and achievable once more. a healed heart is rewarded and or opportunities emerge in the light. after my heart hurt and healed throughout different moments in my life i experienced all different kinds of new found joy. photography school, fun new hair cuts and colors, tattoos, closer relationship with God, a stronger sense of spirituality, and endless love...all of these parts of my life came after my heart was healed. and sometimes the hurt that preceded my healing opened my eyes to revelations i may have never had if i hadn't experienced that pain.

so trust me...there will be healing after hurting. sometimes it takes a little help outside of our own capabilities...but at some point during the process, you will have to be proactive...you will have to be a part of your recovery. if you don't, it will never be 100% and you won't attain all of the strength that can become available...don't just sit on your butt...get up. it will be okay.

"it's gonna be all right...no matter what they say! it's gonna be a good day...just wait and see!" ~ jewel

hugs and love, my lovelies :)

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