Friday, September 2, 2011

"Overwhelming Passion"

"Overwhelming Passion"

i have a rough draft of what i wanted this post to be about in my little "creative writing" type was going to be a "life's art" segment...but i've decided to save it, and go a different direction here because i've started to bore myself with myself on "life's art." that's not a good situation!!! i only really feel this way though because i actually feel very passionate about the topics i approach, and i don't feel like i've conveyed that passion accurately. my little rough draft delves more in to a stronger telling of my opinions...but i'll share it later.

passion is my word. do you have a word? if i could think of a person to most clearly personify the word passion, it would be myself...i've never met anyone as passionate as me. i know passionate people and people that have passionate views and people that are passionate about what they do or who they love and so on and so forth...but i've never met anyone passionate about so many things as i am passionate about. honestly, this has often times been a fault...i'll find myself WAY too overly emotional about things because i feel such a strong intensity of emotions. i'm not sure how i became this way...but one thing i do know about this characteristic of mine, is that my husband was meant for me to balance out my passionate ways. if i am the personification of passion, my husband is the very opposite! i believe that the only thing he is really passionate about is me lol:) i'm not complaining though:) he is sooooo good at calming me down or bringing things back in to a "normal" perspective. he can shush me...and not in a patronizing way...but rather in a calming zen "find your center" kind of way. he knows when i need it and when i don't...when it comes to my art...there is no way that anyone or anything can come in and turn down my dial!

my passion spreads out my focus...i feel like this has been a challenge. i feel very passionately about photography, drawing, painting, singing, and writing...each one gets the same amount of passion, but they don't each get the same amount of focus. i believe that if i could focus on just one, i could become successful with that endeavor. but i can't focus on just one...i want to wrap it all up together and make a life with all of it at once...i believe this causes me to not excel at any just one. like a "jack of all trades but master of none" type of deal. meh. i'm gonna tell myself to shut up now...

i'm a very fanciful person but also very practical...i describe myself as being a woman with her head in the clouds but her feet on the ground. i can't talk about passion and the things that consume me without trying to analyze and break them down at the same time. so i'm telling myself to shut up now lol:)

you know what i really want to do? let me tell you! i want giant canvases and giant amounts of paint...i want to cover myself in colors and roll around on the canvas! i want to put my whole body into creating something i hope to find visually appealing...and i will do that someday. i want bigger pieces of paper to put visions down in pencil and pastels...smudging and blending with my fingertips and hands. i want to get back the intimacy i once had with my photography...that is old school film with a dark i can be part of every step of the creation in a more hands on stimulates all the senses kind of way...something you can't feel with digital and computers. this is why i love art so much! whether it's writing or drawing or singing or photographing...for allows me to put my whole body in to the expression...a feeling of being able to grasp something concrete out of the abstract. it's like i have so much passion inside me, that can be simplified as a passion for life, that i have to get it out in some form...and it happens to be that i enjoy all different kinds of forms.

well anyway. i've rambled enough and have probably effectively established my place as a crazy lady. oh well...not going to apologize for being me! :) if there is a lesson in any of this, it is to find something to be passionate about. express something intangible in a tangible way. i suppose some people go through life perfectly content without ever feeling too overwhelmed by themselves...but for those who feel like they have something inside that needs to be let out...i suggest belting a song, free writing on whatever is available to write on, or diving in to some finger paints...just to name a few:)

"My Star"

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