Medicines, Therapy, and Baby Steps!

I saw my new doctor for the first time on Wednesday, y'all, and he seems like he's going to be a good one! He's just my primary care (PCM in military language), but I feel confident in his abilities to manage my medicine for depression. I'm not sure if I've ever told y'all, but I've tried quite a few different anti-depressants: Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor, Welbutrin, Zoloft, and Pristiq are the ones I can remember! Now I'm on Prozac...I was worried it would affect my libido and cause me to gain weight, but I've been taking it for a little over a year now I think, and I haven't had any problems with it. I told the new doc that it was a tailspin out of control managing my depression after a series of changes and challenges. My suggestion was to increase my dose, and that's just what he did! So, for the curious, I take 60mg of Prozac in the morning and 50mg of Trazadone before I go to bed. The Trazadone helps me sleep with the addition of 5mg of Melatonin. 60mg of my anti-depressants is probably the lowest dose that's ever worked for me...previous amounts were in the 100mg range. Well anyway! I just wanted to share the medicine part of my story for anyone curious. It's also a good story to illustrate how it often takes a few tries to get the right medicine that will help the most! Don't give up if you're struggling finding the one that works!

My fatigue has not improved, and so I will be doing a sleep study soon! My once abnormally low Vitamin D levels are back to normal, so that possible cause has been eliminated. I don't want them to find something wrong with me in the sleep study, but at the same time I don't want to come away from it with still no answers! Please tell me I'm not going to be tired for the rest of my life! Ugh. Reminder: My problems with fatigue started in the spring of 2003 when I was diagnosed with Epstein Barr Virus...that's a long time to feel tired. Fingers crossed we figure something out!

And finally from my doctor's visit, I told him that I would be interested in therapy. I didn't really give it a try before in Virginia, but with deployment coming up, I believe it will be a good form of treatment to add to the list! I'll get that set up on Monday probably.

There it is, y'all! I'm just taking the steps to get back on track again and off the bad roller coaster ride! It's not as easy as it appears in writing...believe me. Getting up and taking action takes some time, and it takes some falls and stumbles. I wish I could tell you all that you just need the determination, but we've talked before about how words of advice tend to take some time to be realized. Just know that when I was in the worst place, there have been times when I couldn't take action, and it was a long process to feel balanced again. You know what it really takes? Baby steps, my friends. Baby steps. And eventually those steps will evolve in to leaps and bounds...it's a process for sure!

I really want this place to be somewhere people feel comfortable talking about their struggles. Just a reminder that y'all can comment anonymously if you'd like. Eventually, hopefully soon, I'll have a private place for readers to message me with questions or suggestions on topics to discuss. I'll definitely keep y'all posted! One more thing. Being able to come to my blog and discuss my depression openly has been a huge factor in my treatment. I just want to  say a simple thank you to all of my readers for taking the time to share this journey with me! Y'all are wonderful souls!

Hugs and love, my lovelies!
Amy

Getting Better

Today is refreshing.

Hello, dear ones! I apologize for my absence, and I promise to try and not go so long between posts anymore. I want to write about a trip to Oklahoma my husband and I took a few weeks ago, but I'm having problems getting my pictures off the memory card and on to the computer...so that's on hold for now. So! I need to update y'all about my depression! I'll try not to be so depressing about it...ha. ha.

First! I had to take Kakashi on a walk before my appointment, and right when we turned the corner there was a mama duck with all of her brand new ducklings huddled around her. The daddy duck had been guarding her in her nest for a little while, so I was really excited to see them hatched! I thought, "This is a sign for a new life ahead of me."



Okay! I finally met with my psychiatrist! She's a lovely woman...soothing and calming...her name is Anne. When she called my name in the waiting room, I stood up to follow her, and my eyes immediately started to water. She said I could sit anywhere; I sat; she asked a question; and I started crying! Oh man, I was apologizing like crazy and grabbing wads of Kleenex...I felt stupid! But she explained that it happened all the time and that it was a very natural response...I felt better.

It was a 2 hour session and I pretty much gave her my life story. By the end of the appointment I was feeling more hopeful than I've ever felt before in this 14 year struggle...relief. So! This is what I have to do. Quit drinking - I'll be fine, though, if I have a drink on special occasions, but definitely not a social drinker anymore! Eat 2 cups of leafy dark greens a day - easy...I LOVE veggies and leafy things! Exercise 30 minutes every day - I was exercising every other day for a while, so I'm just going to incorporate more cardio to my routine. Therapy - that will start next month. And here's the big one...Prozac!

I've always been scared of Prozac. The first doctor to ever treat my depression said it could cause me to gain weight. And in later years, I learned from others that it affected their sex drives. These are not good things in my book! Haha! When I expressed these fears to Anne, she assured me that it shouldn't cause weight gain and that it in fact usually helps binge eaters. And she said that if my sex drive was affected, there is another medicine I can take to counteract it. So far no problems!

I finally feel like I have a doctor who is going to get to know me and really help me. All of my primary care physicians have failed me time and time again. Except for Dr. McKinnon...he was awesome! But all who followed him, were terrible. I would have to share my story every single time and share what meds I had all really been on...every. single. time. So annoying!!!

I've got a long way to go in this healing process...but I feel like I'm going to get there faster than I would have without a good doctor! That shall be my parting wisdom for all of us battling depression...find a great and wonderful doctor!

Hugs and love, my lovelies!