Keeping It Real With Depression

Good day to you, dear ones! I've been home just a couple of days shy of two weeks, and I have been struggling. Missing my grandma in every moment of silence and free thinking; worrying about my family and all the conflicts present; heartbroken for friends with pains I understand all too well; dealing with insecurities and uncertainties in my personal life...so much negativity! The dark shadows of my depression are fiercer and more menacing these days, and it's exhausting having to hold them back while trying to keep my balance on this tight rope I'm walking...over and through this soul sucking bunch of muck! Ugh. So sorry to start off so dismal. Unfortunately, I'm simply keeping it real. This is living with clinical depression and other mental illnesses. I've been doing it for more than half of my life, as y'all know, so I'm fortunate enough to be self aware and knowledgeable about exactly what I need to do to win against these constant battles...

All of my blinds are open and the sunlight is shining bright all over my home. I'm drinking water infused with cucumber, mint, lemon, and orange, and I started my day with a walk and a healthy breakfast. Writing and sharing this with you on my blog is my favorite kind of therapy in dealing with my illness. I'm going to run errands today because I simply can't put them off any longer, and I know that doing so will help me feel better just by being in motion. And! I'm looking forward to spending time with my friends this weekend!

Okay, so I've typed it all out...now it's about getting up and doing these things! So there y'all go...a typical day of a person struggling with depression...let's see if I can do this! All of my readers with mental illnesses, today, just see if you can do something good for yourself; and as always, hugs and love, my lovelies!

Love,
Amy

(random photo of the day...of night time...but still good for the day too...yeah!)

Keep on Ro Fo Sho-ing...

It's afternoon time, but I had breakfast late, and now I'm sitting here sipping tea, so I'm going to just go ahead and say good morning! Aren't you glad I explained my salutation first? Not many people will do that for you! Anywho! Pumpkin Spice Brulee tea from Teavana for anyone wondering...wonderfully delicious! Shout out to my readers from France! My page views indicate I have a good number of people in France stopping by...I'm not sure if y'all are lingering long enough to read a bit or just passing by, but either way, it makes me happy having you take a peek! Thank you!

The number of my page views is steadily climbing, but I'm not getting any more followers and no one is adding me to their Google+ circles. This bothers me, and I feel like it shouldn't; I feel like I'm asking for attention in a vain kind of way, and I don't mean to! I would just like some feedback, you know? Am I helping anyone at all with my discussions on depression and mental illness? Does anyone care about my art and photography? A yes and yes would make me happy, but if it's a no and no, well that's okay too. It helps me to discuss my depression and I'm proud to share my art and photography even if it doesn't appeal to the masses! So I'm just gonna keep on Ro Fo Sho-ing it :)

Well, I guess that's all there is to say about that right now. That's the first time I've used "Ro Fo Sho-ing" in my writing...first time in my life actually. I officially feel a boost to my coolness level...and yes...it's perfectly cool to have a coolness level! Okay I'm really rambling now! Readers, please feel free to incorporate "ro fo sho-ing" into your vocabulary, but please do give me the credit if you don't mind! Ro fo sho-ing is the act of keeping on doing what you're doing with the self awareness of one's own awesomeness!

This new little derivative of my "stage name" may be some extra help these days. Still trying to feel balanced and stable again, and still struggling with fatigue. My husband comes home from work and asks me how my day has been...lately my response is, "I'm struggling today." He wraps his arms around me and rubs my back and kisses me and holds me and says, "I'm sorry, baby." I'm so lucky to have him. When he's away, it's hard to feel motivated...I could easily sleep off and on all day. When I know he'll be coming home after a work day, I make myself get up and be productive. He works so hard and provides so much for us, so I feel badly when I get behind on housework and such. Oh but I'm rambling again!

Mmmk time to wrap up or this is going to be the ramble of all rambles! First, thanks again for stopping by people of France! Ireland, Canada, Denmark, and Poland, I see a couple of you have stopped by...hope you'll stay! Hope everyone has a great week and keeps on ro fo sho-ing it!

Ooops one more thing! My last post was my 100th entry!!! Yay!!! I imagine someday I will have give aways and such for milestone numbers as far as posts, years writing, and maybe even followers if that number ever changes haha!

Thanks for letting me ramble! Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Ro Fo Sho-ing,
Amy

p.s. Random pic of the day! Cheers!

 

No More Naps and a Cute Little Monkey

I suppose I just took a leave of absence from here. I do apologize. It wasn't intentional; I promise. My last day of work ended up being right before Memorial Weekend, and that was a nice arrangement, but it meant a weekend full of socializing, which is great and wonderful, but time consuming. Please excuse my run on sentence if you will. Thanks! After a full weekend of friends, I had a messy apartment to put back in order...I also had a lot of re-hydrating to do if ya know what I mean. Ha! Sigh...I'm old. Anyway! I've also been super super crazy crazy tired! My theory is that when I had to get up and go to work 30 or so hours a week, I was thus forced to deal with the fatigue and push through it. Now that I'm back to my full time housewife role, I can easily take naps instead of ignoring the sleepiness. My intention for post photo lab life was to consider my house chores top priority and to also make The Ro Fo Sho my daily "job" so to speak. So, initially I failed at that. But! Now I'm rested, and I really just don't have time for naps! Oh man, I have so much to do...it's time for lists and battle plans once again...and a really short amount of time to figure it all out and get everything straightened, planned, scheduled, and organized.

Sigh. Again. I'm old. Can I please have a personal assistant? Unlimited amounts of money would be helpful too.

Well anywho! Here are some topics I've got lined up for the next few days here!

* Depression and how my attitude and "advice" thus far has been a little too vague.
* My husband's upcoming deployment and the numerous "work ups" leading up to it.
* Starting a new drawing...oil pastel on canvas...does that work out well?
* How I want pink hair...for reals.

Okay, that's enough to start with! I'm happy to be back and blogging...hopefully I can be more prepared with my next leave of absence so I'm not silent so long again!

Thanks for sticking with me and putting up with my run on sentences and overall indifference to proper sentence structure and such. Hugs and love, my lovelies!

High Five!
Amy

p.s. Sometimes I can't find a relevant photo for an entry, so today I would like to begin the "random photo" addition to the blog...a photo that may have no relevance to the topics we discuss, but a photo that can be enjoyed none the less. Today's random photo shall be..."Cute Little Monkey."