Singing with The Judds Instead of Cleaning House...

My favorite days start with my record player, coffee or tea, and sunshine...days where I don't have to be at work until later and I can be lazy and thoughtful in the quiet time when my husband is at work (he has a loud but lovable presence, y'all). I need to be more productive during this time, however, and that's not always the case. I'll usually tidy a bit around the house, but the housewife thing is really not one of my strengths. My ideal productivity would include writing and creating! But...here I've sat for a good ten minutes or so after writing that last sentence just singing along with The Judds on vinyl and snapping photos with my phone to share in this little corner of the internet world! So! Now I need to walk my dog and start getting ready for work, y'all! But first!

Depression update: I'm taking 40 mg of Prozac every morning, and that's it. I stopped taking the Buspar mainly because I can't eat grapefruit while taking it; and that's not working for me anymore; I miss my grapefruit, people!!! The days are up and down as usual, but I've been getting more sunshine, and that makes an enormous different in my mood! My primary thought with regards to mental health is that sometimes the medicines and the therapy simply don't work anymore, and the best way to start feeling better is to just be sick of it...flex those brain muscles and fight around those chemical imbalances and or deficiencies...seriously...adopt the "fuck this shit" attitude! Granted it has taken me 20 years to get here, but maybe if I talk more about it, it won't take so long for others to start improving. And you know what? Over the past couple of years I've started seeing more and more people talking openly about their struggles with mental health, and obviously I think this is incredibly important. My message for a long time has been, "keep the conversation going!" The hashtag is #stigmafree and I love it!

Dang it! I'm on a cognitive roll and want to keep going, but my dog and getting ready for work are on a time limit now. Damn.

Anyway! I have some art to share, but it will have to wait. Hope everyone has a great week!

Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Singing all the time!
Amy

Keeping It Real With Depression

Good day to you, dear ones! I've been home just a couple of days shy of two weeks, and I have been struggling. Missing my grandma in every moment of silence and free thinking; worrying about my family and all the conflicts present; heartbroken for friends with pains I understand all too well; dealing with insecurities and uncertainties in my personal life...so much negativity! The dark shadows of my depression are fiercer and more menacing these days, and it's exhausting having to hold them back while trying to keep my balance on this tight rope I'm walking...over and through this soul sucking bunch of muck! Ugh. So sorry to start off so dismal. Unfortunately, I'm simply keeping it real. This is living with clinical depression and other mental illnesses. I've been doing it for more than half of my life, as y'all know, so I'm fortunate enough to be self aware and knowledgeable about exactly what I need to do to win against these constant battles...

All of my blinds are open and the sunlight is shining bright all over my home. I'm drinking water infused with cucumber, mint, lemon, and orange, and I started my day with a walk and a healthy breakfast. Writing and sharing this with you on my blog is my favorite kind of therapy in dealing with my illness. I'm going to run errands today because I simply can't put them off any longer, and I know that doing so will help me feel better just by being in motion. And! I'm looking forward to spending time with my friends this weekend!

Okay, so I've typed it all out...now it's about getting up and doing these things! So there y'all go...a typical day of a person struggling with depression...let's see if I can do this! All of my readers with mental illnesses, today, just see if you can do something good for yourself; and as always, hugs and love, my lovelies!

Love,
Amy

(random photo of the day...of night time...but still good for the day too...yeah!)