Damn Down Days...

Ugh. I had a decent amount written up, but somehow it did not save...it's all gone...and I don't have the energy to try and remember and retype it all. So instead, I'm going to bombard y'all with pictures...a summary of sorts from my birthday weekend...

There you go...33 and a red head again...good times! Shout out to Bri, Elizabeth, Stephany, Danielle, Lyssa, my bonus family, and my beloved for the gifts, and treats, and well wishes...y'all made me feel loved!

I'm so blah right now!!! I have this uneasy sinking feeling in my stomach right now, and I can't figure it out. I've started training for a new job that I was initially extremely excited about...now I don't know if I'm nervous or afraid of failing or just plain uncomfortable. I wish I could figure it out. I kind of just want to cry...I feel like how I usually do when my depression is dominating in my life. It's just this feeling of...dread...I can't stand it! Do any of you ever feel like that? Anyone have any secret magical fixes or cures?

Three and a half hours until I have to be at work for training...all I want to do is curl up and sleep. The word of the day is definitely down.

Hope y'all are having a much better day...hugs and love, my lovelies!

Still kickin'!
The Ro Fo Sho

Oh Jeez...Am I A Desperate Housewife?!

My Birthday was filled with happy wishes and kind words, and it really was a lovely day. It was so different from birthdays before, and I ended up feeling very emotional about it. In the past, I would have friends and family to celebrate with...if not the day of, the weekend following. And even though I was lucky to have my husband here (instead of gone doing Navy things), I felt very lonely. Tom was very sweet giving me a silly card and beautiful flowers, but all in all birthdays are really not a big deal to him, so he didn't make a fuss. Like I said before, I know that I'm pretty much alone in the fact that I love celebrating birthdays. And again, I don't want to seem self centered!  It's not that I think I deserve a fuss and the attention, and I don't want to sound ungrateful for the birthday wishes and Tom's gesture. They made my day! They made me smile and feel loved, and they made me laugh and reminisce. I'm so thankful for the friends and family and people in my life...I feel blessed to know and love so many! And, I love my husband passionately and (usually) understand his ways haha! But I realized where my lonely feeling came from...getting older means time has passed and life has changed. My family and Okie friends are half of our country away; I left some of my very best friends in Virginia; and my friends here in Florida have their own lives and obligations. My new friendships here have not yet evolved past casual acquaintances and social networking. Tom has been wrapped up with the card game Magic, and he's now completely obsessed with Destiny like all the other gamers in the world. And finally, my interests are either solo or require (preferably) other people to go and do things with like bars or dinner and such. I guess, to try and summarize it all, I don't get as much face to face time with my friends or my husband as I would prefer, and I'm a big baby about it (whining and pouting and stomping feet)! Eventually I will have a job and hopefully several projects with The Ro Fo Sho A & P (art and photography) going on to keep me occupied...but an active social life has always been a big part of my life...and I don't have that anymore. Ugh. I sound like a desperate housewife! I'm 32, married, have no children and no job. My husband is wonderful and a great provider, but he deals with a lot of bull shit at work, and I feel guilty asking for more of his time away from his games. A neighborhood of friends and family close by would fix the situation. Since I don't have those conveniences, what do I do? I know: grow new friendships, stay busy, be creative, and get a job (eventually). (note: waiting till after my husband deploys to job hunt)

Thanks for listening y'all. I've created an email exclusively for this blog. If any of y'all would like to discuss any of my posts, make suggestions for content, or have any questions concerning the topics I discuss, please feel free to email me at amyrofosho.gmail.com. Call me Amy, Amy Ro Fo Sho, Ro Fo Sho, or The Ro Fo Sho...or "hey you" etc. if you prefer haha!

I'll leave y'all with the gorgeous flowers and silly card from my husband :) And again, I appreciate all the people in my life and having this little corner of the Internet world to ramble about in and share with you all. Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Desperate Housewife? ugh.
The Ro Fo Sho

30 Reasons Why I Love My Husband So Very Much!

I met my husband 8 years ago, and it was actually only about a month before his 22nd Birthday. He invited me to his party, but I couldn't go because this is when my mama just had her back surgery, so I needed to be with my family. Tom and I flirted in those days via text messages and...wait for it...MySpace!!! Lol!!! On MySpace, Tom expressed how bummed he was that I couldn't come to his party; I said that he needed to have a drink for me; and he said, "There will be several drinks to Amy!" Haha, I thought this was so cute! Aww I miss the early flirtation days! Anyway! A couple of weeks after his birthday, we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend! Tomorrow, he turns the big 3 & O, and I'm so happy my husband will finally be joining me in this 30's decade of life haha!

My plans for celebrating this significant birthday are, in my opinion, quite excellent! Tom has no enthusiasm for birthdays, but I love them! So even though he's all, "it's no big deal," about it, I am very excited! And, I love my husband so much that I know I can list 30 reasons why and therefore how grateful I am that he was born. Here goes!

I love my husband so very much, and I'm so grateful he was born because:

1. He was and is the best flirt I've ever known...the butterflies I still get are amazing!

2. When we were dating, on a camping trip, he gathered me in his arms and asked, "Will you be my girlfriend?" Oh yes I will!

3. His eyes were the biggest and bluest when he first said, "I think I love you. I know I love you." It was on grandma's front porch and I think I probably could have kissed him forever in that moment.

4. I remember the shirt he was wearing on our first kinda date/ group date...pale pink striped button up...we had our first kiss and couldn't stop kissing!

5. We use to say, "I love you tons and tons," and we still sometimes say it or we'll use other measurements to express it because we're cheesy lol!

6. The first time he asked me to marry him was only 3 months after we started dating! It actually took four and a half years before we did get married, but I love that he never gave up on me.

7. Our friends and family say that sometimes he looks like Tobey Maguire or Daniel Radcliffe...but...

8. His lips are so much nicer than these actors...I love his lips!

9. Tom has a nice butt. He'll be so embarrassed, but it's true...I love his badonkadonk lol!

10. He can't do accents except for one that kinda sounds Indian like Apu from the Simpsons. And if he tries other accents, they always end up sounding like Apu's! Oh! But he can do a pretty good exaggerated southern accent too!

11. When he's hyper, he'll randomly bust out in some crazy dances...I'm determined to get them on video some day!

12. He forgives me when I act like a total bitch towards him...and I always feel badly when I do!

13. I love his chin...I can't exactly explain why...I just do.

14. He looks really great with a goatee...can't wait till he's out of the Navy and can grow one again!

15. I'm proud he joined the Navy at 26 years old. He didn't like the jobs he kept working and so he did something about it.

16. Wives claim this all the time, but it's so very true here. He is so very smart! And y'all can trust me on this because ignorant people annoy the hell outta me!

17. I love the stories his mama tells me about when he was a little boy. He was so smart and therefore a trouble maker and smart ass...God Bless his mama for raising a little punk kid in to the amazing man he is! Love you, Joyce!

18. He makes me laugh :)

19. His predictive texts gone wrong are so incredibly hilarious!

20. He calms me down...all he has to do is put his arms around me when I'm terribly upset.

21. He loves the outdoors like I do!

22. His patience is like a gift from God!

23. He's always surprising me with "just because" flowers...oh how I love just because flowers!

24. When he decides to do a little house work of his own freewill...le sigh...

25. He always picks out the best gifts for me! Seriously! I have such a wide range of things I like, and he always gives me something that appeals to every single one of them!

26. He doesn't mind my snoring lol!

27. I'm so grateful for his hard work and that he provides for our little family!

28. He loves our dog, Kakashi...and I love it when he wrestles with him...it's a hoot!

29. Whenever we go through hard times in our relationship, he works at it and we work together to get through the obstacles...and we're stronger every time.

30. I love that 8 years ago, Tommy fell in love with me and has kept on loving me all this time. He has been such an important part of the woman I've become, and I don't know what I'd do without him.

Tommy, I'm so grateful you were born! So grateful you are a part of my life! I love the laughter and silliness in our relationship. I love you tons and tons ;)

Always making goofy faces

Our 3 year Wedding Anniversary

Thank you, dear ones, for indulging me in my proclamation of love for my husband...y'all are the best! Hugs and love, my lovelies!

The Super Grateful and Crazy Wife of Tom,

Amy

p.s. I apologize for the large amount of "haha's"...it happens though...haha! Ha!

Another Birthday Coming Soon

Today is ok.

I realized, after the fact, that my last post was my 50th entry. I feel like I should have written something more...I don't know...ummm...monumental maybe? Hmmm oh well...maybe I'll be more on the ball with my 100th entry...but I should start writing more or it'll be FOREVER before I  get there!

And I DO want to write more! I want to write every day and really try to reach a bigger audience, but I just don't make the time for it like I should. I talked about my new job in my last post, and that is still going well. But I feel like the approximately 30 hours a week I work there plus the constant housewife job wear me out more than the average person. It's not fair! We don't even have kids for cryin' out loud! So I guess with that being said, we can all observe that the vitamin D isn't making a difference with the fatigue just yet...but I knew it would take a while. Still couldn't help but hope for a miraculous change I guess! Anywho! I'm still hopeful.

What I really wanted to write about was my upcoming birthday...it's a little less than 2 months away. When I wrote about the end of my 20s here, I stated some goals for myself to complete before my 30th...a new me for a new decade. Well...I failed. If I weren't in such a good mood now, I'd probably be more weepy and dark and twisty here...so yay for all of us who get tired of hearing about my depression all the time haha! Moving on!

So! Instead of making expectations for myself that I'll stress and worry over...I shall treat this 31st as the 10 year anniversary of my 21st...which means it'll be a party...a celebration of a new stage of life...a chance to quit talkin' 'bout all the stuff I need to do and just freakin' do it! I'm not sure if that even makes sense to y'all, but it make sense (kinda) to me, and that's what's important I suppose.

Here's my wishlist for my birthday. Presents make everything better...even getting older :) I share this because two of the images you see represent what I REALLY want!

 The Dove represents the quiet peace during the heat of battle. The Tree of Love represents those who grow and stand tall together through adversity.


Additions to the tattoo on my forearm!!! My friend, Nicole, and I are the only people I know with the "Warriors in Pink" tattoos on our bodies. When I talked about adding to mine, she suggested I stick with the theme of breast cancer awareness...and that's just what I want to do! The symbols are so simple, but their meanings are so significant...and the meaning of a simple piece of art can make the image even more special. That's just what I believe anyway!

In an attempt to wrap this somewhat random and not so fluid rambling up, I will simply say that with this upcoming birthday, it's time to take control of this decade before it passes me by like my 20s...and that tattoos make everything better...oh and presents as well. Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Slapped, Smacked, and Stabbed!

my sister was born a year and four days after me...we've been like twins all our lives! i think that we are probably the best of friends and have one of the funniest and most entertaining relationships anyone could ever witness. we also have some of the most epic fights...i slapped her once.

she had been pissing me off all day, and i was finally pushed to my limit in the jc penney parking lot. i had called the front seat...she tried to take it...even though she had been riding in it all day...i snapped...i was taken over by the sibling conflict demon and let loose my fury with a full hand slap and smack on her face. cat fighting then followed. our grandma was horrified and so embarrassed! it ended...i think i retreated to the back of the van to lay down with my anger. my sister always says that i slapped her over riding shot gun...but it was so much more...soooo much more than that! we've since moved past that haha:)

we are night and day...from the outward to the inward:) she has blonde hair and mood changing blue green eyes...she gets brown in the sun...she's taller and has bigger boobs. i'm a red head with always green eyes and always pale skin...shorter...smaller boobs (although they've grown with my weight gain). she was always a star...actress and singer...entertainer and comedian. life has thrown her some really tough punches...but when she gets the chance to sing some karaoke or tell an interesting story, she still knows how to handle the spotlight. i'm always proud when i see her make people laugh and cheer. she has always been hollywood and theater and i've been rock 'n roll and geek lol:) in school i worried and worked for straight A's...always thinking about college and scholarships....she worked for lead roles and solos. we both succeeded with our goals in school. our post school dreams have not turned out like we envisioned...we've both been affected by illness...her illnesses have been much much more life altering than mine. i'm still working towards my childhood dreams, and she's trying to find medicines and surgeries that could improve her life while also having to maintain the jobs of being a wife and mother. if i could take some of her burdens and carry them myself, i would do it in a heart beat!

everyone understands how hard it is to watch the people we love hurt so much. there comes a point when there is nothing we can do...we don't have the money to help with doctors and medicines...we live half a country away so we can't even put our arms around them...we listen over the phone, but we're not there to wipe away the tears or squeeze a hand. it's very...very hard.

my sister's birthday is thursday, and this is the first time in about 10 years that we have not been together on our birthdays. it sucks...but it sucks even more because i know she needs me now, but all i can do is send a card in the mail! i hope that helps a little at least! i'm always trying to get her to laugh and smile as much as she gets me to laugh and smile:) she's a punk though, so it's a bit more challenging i think! haha! this picture is one of the last ones we took together before i moved to illinois (and now to virginia). both of us are very insecure about our physical appearances. we both use to be very fit...no double chins! our illnesses have caused excessive weight gain for us...it's probably one of the hardest things either of us have faced...and...i think we'd both be so much happier if we could just lose the weight! i think we look good in this picture...she doesn't like it...but i don't know why...and it's the only one i have on this computer right now...so it'll have to do! :)


at least we can all see that her boobs are indeed bigger than mine haha! :) there are times when i want to punch her...i believe i once told her that i wanted to karate chop her throat. hey! we're irish...our tempers are a little heightened! but i love her:) as much as we clash...as different as we are...there is nothing like the bond between sisters...nothing! and now...i must tell a story about her attacking me once. and listen folks...this was a much more serious instance...there was blood...

i was 6...she was 5. we had a shoe box and two very sharp pencils. we stabbed the shoe box over and over with these very sharp pencils. i don't know what are objective may have been...my memory simply starts with the box and the pencils and the stabbing over and over. after some time i held the box up to my face...like a mask...to see what it was like looking through so many tiny holes. and...in slow motion...my sister raised her pencil...pulled her arm back...and plunged the sharp pencil into the box...into my eye. screaming. tears. running through grandma and grandpa's house. stopping and seeing swollen bleeding eye in hall mirror. screaming. crying. end memory. i remember explaining my black eye to my kindergarten teacher...i believe i thought it was cool having a black eye...and i don't remember having hard feelings toward my sister after the initial stabbing:)

"Stabbing Sister"

i don't believe my conscious thoughts were with this particular memory as i created this drawing...it had to have been my subconscious haha:) also...the picture has a very angry and violent sort of feeling with it...but that's not why i named it "stabbing sister." after i drew it and several years later when i decided to name it, it was the first thing that came to my mind. that instant when i looked in the mirror and saw the tiny dots of blood on my eyelid...that's what i think of when i look at it. but it makes me laugh:) so, i think it'll be so funny someday when i have a gallery exhibit of my work and people look at this one thinking how raw and hard and violent and sad it is...for me...it's a memory of two little girls who shouldn't have been playing with sharp pencils haha!

well anway. my sister is often misunderstood. she has negative feelings about herself that i don't feel like would be right for me to share. but she's just as beautiful and vibrant as she was 10 years ago...she has it inside. i hope that the upcoming surgery helps her. i hope that her life and the people in her life find a good solid fulfilling path that lead her to a consistent happiness!

happy birthday, my lovely sister. i know you're in the dark right now. i know that there is pain and that there is sorrow. but you are still young...your body can still be taken care of...and your mind still possesses the talent and passions from years ago...you will be healed...and you will find joy again in the things in life you always enjoyed. both of us are in very different places than where we thought we'd be 10 years ago...but there is still the potential for dreams to come true. hold on to that, okay? and remember that even though i'm miles away...i'm always with you in your heart...we're twins like that you know:)

anyone else reading this? be as strong as you can for the people you love. try to give those people a silver lining to their storm clouds. when you get frustrated because you feel like there's nothing you can do...accept that there is nothing you can do...but love them...and be there for them. make sure they know it!

and here's one last memory to lighten the mood. according to my sister, i explained what sex was to her and our cousin using a barbie and ken doll. apparently...i stripped them naked...bent them in half...and smashed their...ahem...privates together. now...i don't remember this at all...it could be a ridiculous story! but! at least i was honest and didn't try to overly romanticize it...that could have led to premature sexual activity for goodness sakes!!! i believe it was probably an accurate education for girls so young haha!

okay. i'm shutting up now! i love you beetle bob!!!

A Decade's End & "Among the Stars"

"Among the Stars"

on october 9th of this year i will be turning 29 and so shall begin the last year of my 20s...i've said before that getting older doesn't bother me, but rather the thought of not completing certain goals at a certain time does. i use to have an impressive lists of goals before the age of 30, but it didn't take me long to realize how unrealistic that list was for a somewhat of a procrastinator like myself...at least i'm aware of my flaws! i do have some goals though to complete before this decade of my life's end...i don't necessarily want to list them all but i'll share my biggest 2: lose weight and get fit and healthy and be aggressive about getting my art and writing out in the world. i have faith in myself for completion...and i would like to succeed early on in my last year of my 20s so that i may enjoy my achievements for the remainder of this momentous portion of my life. i hope to ring in my 30s feeling 100% great about my life...i'd also like to celebrate the next decade by a big trip to vegas with all my friends...so put that on your calendars y'all!

i make lists. it may be a compulsive disorder...but i'm not sure...it doesn't really matter to me. my mama started it. i use to love sneaking a peek at her lists to see what she had planned; i don't know why i loved it so much...it was kind of like discovering a christmas list!

i have a list for what i want this next year of my life to look like...from tangible things like clothing and accessories, furniture and decorations to the intangible like success and happiness and adventure! so i'll share some of that...and if anyone wants to reference to this list for birthday or christmas gifts, well that's quite all right with me!

clothing and accessories and other things:
boots (size 6)
fedora hats
feather hair clips
fabulous wardrobe (fabulous body requested prior to fabulous wardrobe if possible haha)
prisma color pencils
large sketching paper
large canvases
gallons of acrylic paint...maybe not gallons
graphite pencils
photo albums
clear corner mounts for photos
pretty things
art things
beautiful shoes (size 6)

furniture and decorations and stuff:
drawing table
patio furniture
chiminea (i don't know how that is spelled...sound it out please)
grill
dining chair tables
bedroom furniture set
candles
coasters
pretty things
money
living room furniture
entertainment glass wear, serving wear, and such
housekeeper
personal chef

intangible:
more energy
successful art career
travel (i suppose that's a tangible thing actually)
ability to function off of 6 or 7 hours of sleep...
things like that...

so that's some of it...it sounds lovely doesn't it? if someone wants to suggest to my husband to bring me flowers or write me little love notes, that would be okay too. well...i'm kind of distracted by football...so i think i'll just wrap this up. i just wanted to share a little bit with y'all since it's been a while since i blogged last. oh! we are moving to virginia in 9 days so i might be a little too busy to write before then...but i'll be back soon with more art and "life's art" segments and more stories of my life. hugs and love!