Multi Part Story of The Ro Fo Sho Part 1

Yesterday sucked. My mama shared some concerning news from home and I had to work at my normal person job. I'll write more about the family worries at another time when I have more information. Normal person job needs no other mention.

Today I would like to get some photos taken of my new art and organize it all...ones I want to share/sell, ones I want to keep, ones I have no idea if anyone will like except for me...that type of organization. I need to have a day where I focus on the business side of The Ro Fo Sho Art and Photography. My friend, Stephany, took me out for lunch the other afternoon and I was telling her how I wish I could just focus on the creative process and have someone else manage the practical side, and she said she would love to do that for me someday! In truth, I've been imagining her as a business partner for some time now, so the idea sounds great to me! It will take some time to get to that point I'm afraid...a few have shown interest in my art, but I have no idea yet how well it will be received once it's really out there for all the world to see...which brings me to my next point...

I've loved art since I was a little girl...I can't remember a time when I wasn't drawing. My very first dream was to be an artist, but, as I've said before, I also realized at a young age that it wasn't exactly a guaranteed paycheck. Yes, I know children aren't necessarily supposed to worry about such matters, but I was different dang it. That is all I will say about that for now. Moving on! Art simply stayed a hobby for years and years. I didn't take the advanced classes in school and I never did perfect any skills. I watched and admired my friends progression and the creations they produced; they wouldn't even call me an artist! They were extremely talented in my eyes, so it never occurred to me that I might someday have a place in the art world.

In college I started developing my own style. It began here...

I grabbed my sketch book and oil pastels and started scribbling...I call this one "The Beginning," because it was the very first time I let my emotions direct the drawing...I let the images in my head fall to the paper as naturally as they possibly could. This was done in 2002 I believe...holy crap...15 years ago!

Unfortunately, my train of thought will have to take a pause for a bit...normal person job...ugh...had to mention it again. This may turn into a multi part story, dear readers, so please stay tuned...

Before I sign off, here's a selfie as I've composed this for you lovely people:

The internet world seems to respond better to selfies. Yes, there may be banana nut bread in my teeth.

Have a great Friday, y'all! I'll be doing the normal person job all weekend and try and continue this train of thought whenever I can!

Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Ro Fo Sho out!
Amy

"Rainbows On Her Soles"

Well, helloooooo! (Please tell me some of you read that in a Mrs. Doubtfire voice?!) Jeez Louise it's been about 3 and a half months...holy moly! Sorry again for abandoning this little corner of the internet...for the zillionth time...ugh. But, hey! It's going to get better! Let me tell you why. So, after my last entry (An Angry Side to Depression), my struggles kind of...ummm morphed and thinned and bubbled up and over...I was basically all over the place emotionally. Stressed from my new job, still feeling anger and resentment, drained and dragging through every day. It was the first week in May when I just lost it for a few days. Truth be told, I screwed up with some of my prescriptions...as in I called them in and didn't pick them up on time...and my anxiety got a strong hold of me...like a vice around my soul and my heart...squeezing me to the point where it hurt to breathe and the tears came in floods completely uncontrolled. Depression and anxiety can make you feel crazy, and I tell y'all what, I was feeling like the craziest of crazies! I missed 3 days of work and I slept and slept and slept. I've said it before and I'll say it again...we don't always have to fight it...we are allowed to be weak...it's okay to keep the blinds and our eyes closed sometimes. But, again, like I also always say, we can't stay there very long or it can overwhelm us. So, I got my medicine and I got myself to work and I listened to my music and I created my art and I put my fists back up in the air on guard ready to fight the shadow again...and I've been fighting, my friends. I've been "Ro Fo Sho-ing!" that asshole darkness what's up and who's boss! Hell yeah! I'm going to try and make that a phrase for all of us living with mental illness..."Ro Fo Sho" with me, y'all...meaning keep fighting and don't ever give up...keep on "Ro Fo Sho-ing!" I think I'll make t-shirts haha! So! When I first created this blog, it was supposed to to be about my life with depression but also about my art...because my art comes from my life...and it's my therapy too...and like my story, I want to share my art with the world. Get ready... The Ro Fo Sho Art & Photography is officially on it's way...more details to come. And thanks for sticking with me, dear readers!

Hugs and love, my lovelies, and keep on Ro Fo Sho-ing!

Love and Peace,
The Ro Fo Sho

"Rainbows On Her Soles"

by Amy

(lyrics from Beth Hart's "By Her")

The Art & Photography of The Ro Fo Sho

Good day, dear ones! I've been doing a little bit of tweaking, creating, thinking, and planning the last few days. As I mentioned before, getting The Ro Fo Sho Art & Photography out into the public is one of my goals I wish to complete in under a year. This blog is the most important part of it because my stories and my struggles from my life and from my depression are what inspire all the crazy thoughts and ideas in my head! Those crazy bits floating around in there are lacking structure most of the time. It's also a challenging task to draw, write, capture, and share them in a tangible or even comprehensible way! This blog helps me the most. Here I can free write, ramble, talk it out, and be as nonsensical about it all as I wish...and y'all stick with me and my run on sentences and disjointed thoughts...which I very much appreciate! Thank you thank you!

So here's what I've been doing!

* Created a Facebook page to promote The Ro Fo Sho Art & Photography...click here. It looks like rubbish right now, and I'm honestly quite embarrassed to share it with anyone right now. I figure I might as well do it and hope that it motivates me to fix it up ASAP so I look a bit more professional!

* Simplified the layout of this blog. I don't know how to do any kind of customizing! I need an "about" section, "photography" section, "art" section, and probably some other stuff...I have no idea how to do any of that. So I just did what I could. I will definitely be looking in to classes or books or tutorials or something to become more knowledgeable in this digital age.

* Took some photos for the U.S.S. Iwo Jima's Family Readiness Group (FRG) for a a project we're working on for Sailors, Marines, and their families in preparation for deployment. It was a totally casual set up and most definitely did not illustrate my professional skills at all...but it was a bit of inspiration to start shooting again. And, although I hate all the post production that is involved in photography these days, I understand that I need to learn a little of it if I want to have any success in the field. But I'll still whine and complain...I miss working in a dark room!!! But anyway! Shout out to our FRG President, Ariel, for asking me to take pictures and encouraging me to get back in to my profession again!

It's a small start, but at least it's a start. It's been 10 years since I graduated from The Oklahoma School of Photography. My business name was "Immortality" with the catch phrase "Creating Everlasting Memories." Then my sister started calling me "The Ro Fo Sho" at karaoke, so it became a stage name you could say...and since it fit my personality so much, I knew it would be perfect for my creative side. Thus began The Ro Fo Sho Art & Photography by yours truly, Amy Ro Fo Sho! This was fun sharing this with y'all...I hope it was enjoyable for you guys and gals too! Any advice, recommendations, and such will be happily received and appreciated!

Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend! Hugs and love, my lovelies!

Love and Peace,
Amy Ro Fo Sho

p.s. I haven't prepared any new photos to share, so here's a look at the creation process of a drawing I did a couple of years ago. I'm not sure where the photo of the completed version is, but I'll get one and eventually share it.

A Young Perception

"Acknowledge"

"Altered Temple"

"I Want"

"What have I done Where do I go"

these drawing were done in 2003..."acknowledge" was the first drawing that inevitably led to the style of all that followed and what i do to this day. i was sitting in my college dorm room watching football, and it occurred to me that it had been some time since i had drawn anything. so i grabbed my sketch pad and my oil pastels and really just started drawing without any idea how it was going to evolve...which as i've explained before is sometimes my method of my art. i've been getting these old drawings into digital form so that i can share and copy for prints in addition to the originals, and it's really been like a trip down memory lane...what was i thinking? where was my head? how did i perceive myself?

i grouped these together as a kind of mini series i suppose...i would call them "corrupted and confused." i'd rather not divulge the details of my sins and mistakes, but i will say that 2003 was really the beginning of a more sinful than not lifestyle...it was the year i got sick with epstein barr, which inevitably led to weight gain, which led to low self esteem...and my ways of dealing were not always healthy. but! as self destructive as i was, i was also at a kind of raw sense of identity...hence the tattoos and piercings. i've never grown out of my tattoos and i would have kept the piercings if they hadn't become infected or unflattering on my changed body...the point being that some things came out of this time of my life that i don't regret or wouldn't change.

i don't want to go in and analyze each specific piece and line it up with what was going on in my young mind. i will point out the apples...temptation or sin. the collages with straight dividing lines...broken or unclear perceptions of life. the eyes and mouths...seeing and tasting all of life. the sun and stars...destiny...a light at the end of the tunnel...something bigger than me?

this was a time of my life when i got what i wanted and did what i wanted...without much thought for consequences. i didn't realize how my actions would shape so many years that followed; that my actions would eventually lead to unhealthy perceptions; that my actions would ruin chances and relationships in my life...i could have become a different person if i hadn't gone down that road. but i like who i am today...so i believe i had to get through a lot of shit to get here...and if anything would have happened differently, i simply wouldn't be who i am or where i am today...and...like i said...i like who i am today.

but none the less, it's interesting to me to see what my young perception on life looked like compared to what my perceptions are today. i have a visual of when i was a girl...and although that girl had so many problems...that girl is this woman today. i'm stronger and smarter, and i'm grateful for my life lessons.

"A Warped Nature"

"A Warped Nature"

i did this oil pastel drawing back in 2003...a lot of my art that i'll be sharing is from 2003 or recently. 8 years between these periods of art explosions. however, i believe that the occasional distance i often found from my art in the past will no longer be an issue. the reason is simple really...2003 was the year my life started taking a dramatic turn...between then and the past year or so, i had some major downs and moments of just being messed up. i'm good now...stable anyway...ahem...mostly:) like i've said before, art has been a part of my life since before i can remember, but i've just recently accepted that it doesn't have to just be a hobby...i can actually do something with this. it's what makes me happy:) the key to happiness is doing what makes you happy...so...there it is! (that's a lot of happy lol) now i wanna do it all the time! art art art!!! drawing, painting, photography, and writing:)

so i don't remember where my mind was when this was created. i went with "a warped nature" because of the bent tree and drain like motion to the image. i have several sketches that never made it to actual completed drawings that are of a drain like concept. maybe i was thinkin' along the lines of how sometimes life feels like it's going down the drain...or sometimes all the good just seems to wash away...i suppose the obvious stuff you could say. i know i've done the drain thing with the idea that everything is moving from one dimension to another...like through a wormhole you could say. hmmm...am i rambling? i'm kind of multitasking as i write this. i'm texting two people and enjoying an adult beverage in addition to blogging. sorry! i've just been looking at this drawing a lot recently trying to figure out what i wanted to say about it...for some reason i felt like visiting it tonight.

i'm 29 years old. most married women my age have children or are having them soon. children are not on my radar for another four or five years. i know that when i go home for christmas, my aunts and maybe uncles are going to be asking, "so when can we expect some babies?" i feel like i don't hear women talking about dreams and goals before kids anymore. there's nothing wrong with that! some women want to be moms and maybe secondarily think of having part or full time jobs or crafts or whatever...i have no opinion of that other than that's not what i want. to each their own! the only time i will ever judge a mother is if she's a mother consistently having unprotected sex and having more children than what she can provide for...that's the only time i'll find myself judging besides the obvious situations like abuse and neglect. but i wish there were more women my age out there with a voice about success before children...that's what i need...i need that before i have children. i don't feel a need for children right now...i just don't. i don't need babies...i need success and someday i want children. i need to have an identity that is solely my own before i am defined as a mother...it's very important to me...it's crucial! i'm rambling again. sorry!

so am i looking at motherhood in a warped way? are my needs for success and identity indications that i'm not mother material? am i going against nature because i don't have the instinct to procreate but rather to succeed as an individual? i'm afraid that maybe i shouldn't be a mother. i'm afraid that someday i'll decide i don't want to be a mother or that i'll decide i do, but i won't really have the time anymore. so...i try not to think about it at all really...see where i am in four or five years and then go from there. there's no reason to worry about something that's not even on the agenda right now anyway! so i'll stop...for now...but like i did here...i know i'll revisit the thought off and on for the next 5 years or so! it's just my warped nature!

Dream Pieces

i wrote about my cousin kevin in this post...you should read it before you read this one if you haven't already. kevin's drawing i mentioned there was a collage done with pen...or so i remember anyway. it was a collage of what my young mind perceived as random images...i remember a face and parts of a face drawn throughout...but that's all that comes to mind. but it seems to me that every time i looked at it, i would find something else hidden inside. man i wish i could see it again! i know i would see something completely different than what my childish eyes saw...i would probably find a meaning or a theme perhaps. the drawing i'm going to share today was inspired by the memory of kevin's creation...i wouldn't ever want to copy...and i definitely wouldn't have the patience for the detail he put in to his anyway! but i like the idea of a collage of random bits...mine consists of relevant images in my life...but i don't feel like explaining. so enjoy...see what appeals to you maybe! (the image is a bit crooked, but i will be photographing all of my drawing with a new approach that will be better for reproduction)


i think i will call it..."dream pieces." i wrote something somewhere sometime ago about "shadows of dream pieces." i've been going through a lot of old journals and poetry and random bits of writing, so i'm not sure when i said that...i'll stumble over it again at some point...but that's just what i keep thinkin' of when i look at this drawing. i'm really proud of it actually! i suppose one should be humble and unassuming...but not me. i'm damn happy with this! in case you are wondering, i started in the top right corner and worked over and down...balancing areas with darks and lights and actual images and doodles. everything came to me as i drew...i didn't have a final product in mind when i started it. in fact...i figured i would either succeed or fail...it wasn't until i finished it that i realized i probably would have been pretty pissed if i had spent so much time on something i didn't really like in the end...so it worked out in my favor. i also realized something else...it wasn't difficult for me to do this drawing...and i wasn't focused at all on the possibility that it might look like crap in the end. i feel like whatever i paint or draw will evolve on its own as i create it...i haven't failed myself yet. now there are some finished drawings and paintings that i'm not completely crazy about...but i don't hate them or they grow on me eventually anyway! so i'm going to stick with my technique...it's satisfying and doesn't stress me out...and it's kind of interesting knowing that whatever appears on my paper or canvas comes from a spontaneous unplanned place in my mind.

my dreams are often times completely irrelevant to anything i've ever seen, heard, read, or experienced...they involve intricate plots and complex characters...different worlds entirely! sometime futuristic...never before my time though. oh! except once! i dreamed i saw jimi hendrix in concert and sat on the edge of the stage afterwards visiting with him...he leaned over and kissed me and i woke up...that was a wicked cool dream! but other than that, i don't dream of past time periods. only present or future. i should write them down immediately after waking, but i'm too tired to do that...i should though...hmmm...maybe someday. i really do have the most random dreams...ask my husband! this must be a part of how i am as an artist...i like it.

while i was home i added rainbow colors to my hair...


my mama said, "amy, i love that you're a free spirit...but do you have to be so wild?" i laughed and said yes of course." and then at one point she asked me, "how did you get to be so weird?" and i said, "you raised me that way! and that's a good thing!" she laughed and took the compliment, but it's completely true! my mama raised me to be open minded and ambitious...to be willing to ask questions and learn and explore...and to always want the very best for myself. she's an artist too...she draws and writes beautifully...she has a lovely mind:) so i believe that everything i dream and create comes from a place that has been a part of me since birth...a place my parents allowed to grow and develop with wide open eyes, open heart, and open mind. very early on in my life i learned that the status quo was bullshit and that collective behavior will eventually control one's life if one is not aware that it happens every day all around.

i'm rambling now aren't i? well sorry! i'm talkin' dream pieces here so that's gonna deviate in all different directions. i could even go in to politics and religion...don't worry i won't! haha! but anyway!

i'm distracted now. tommy is home for the weekend and it's our only time together really since he's gone doing navy things so much during the week! but before i sign off...i need to try and send some luck to oklahoma. you see...this is what happened. yesterday in this post i wrote about the horrible heat and desiring the rain again up here and wherever it is needed. and wouldn't ya know it the rain fell today...a lot!!! so...i'm posting "rain" again with hopes that maybe oklahoma will get some precipitation and a nice cool down asap!


hope this works for you oklahoma! oh yes, i would like to mention that it was my friend, liane, who requested i write about rain for oklahoma for good luck! soooo...good luck my beloved okies!

everyone have a great weekend! stay hydrated and cool!

p.s. "she wears a million colors. there's rainbows on her soul. she got a sign above her that says...i'm never growin' old!" ~beth hart~

Amanda and Jack

well, it's taken me a while to get this blog going! i apologize to those who have been waiting eagerly to hear from me...'cause i know there are so many of you! ha! well anyway! like you can read in my "about me" section, the concept of this blog has changed numerous times...but i finally settled on it being a part of my art. i want to share the process and my thoughts along the way that lead to the final results! not like an art lesson though...there is nothing to be learned in my drawings and paintings and such except for maybe composition and the inner workings of my mind...if anyone even really wants to go there! i've got quite a bit to share now...but i'm going to spread it out and try to stay ahead with something new as often as i can...this seems like it will also help keep me motivated to keep creating! yay! so it's a win win for everybody:)

okay so here's a brief summary of the most recent transition in my life. i married tommy in december and followed him up here to illinois due to his current life as a navy man. but i'm not going to write about married life specifically...not now anyway. it's been challenging and dramatically different than what i expected...but i'm not gonna write about that right now either. i haven't made any friends, haven't gotten a new job, and haven't joined or volunteered for any military support groups or such...but i'm not going to write about that either...not now anyway. i've wallowed around in depression, cried buckets, seen doctors, and a bunch of that crap but i'm not goin' there either. not right now anyway. what i have done and what i will write about...is art:)

this first piece was created on a night i was drinkin' jack daniels mixed with some coke in one of my pretty blue glasses...the details are always relevant to what i create. sometimes because of being a direct inspiration and sometimes because i just...well i don't really know. moving on! i was also talking to my dear friend amanda. it's important to note that she is my favorite. truly. i must also say that i have more than one favorite:) anyway. she was the first friend to call me when i got up here...we spent the most time together before i left so withdrawals were totally expected! while we talked and i drank i felt compelled to grab my sketch book and oil pastels.

here's something y'all might like to know. well, somethin' y'all should know actually! don't ever ask, "what is it?" or "what does it mean?" my art comes from an abstract place in my head. sometimes there's a tangible object and sometimes there's not! it might just be a bunch of shapes or colors or lines or doodles. each creation has a special meaning for me...but it's only an interpretation of what i'm thinking about or feeling...i can't make the viewer experience those same thoughts. so! whatever you see is whatever it is to you! if you happen to see what it is to me, then my thoughts came through nice and clear or you got lucky or you're on the same wavelength. so please don't ask me to define or explain.


i don't have a title. i might go with something obvious like, "amanda and jack." we'll see! this was the first drawing completed in illinois and remains one of my favorites. i happen to have some viewer opinions! here you go!:)

amanda: "I see a dog figure up in the swirls and reddish area near the top left."

bryan: "I got nothin. I suck at Magic Eye's. ;) Seriously though, I think it's well composed!"

sarah: "I see a woman with blue spiky hair, a worm with a bib and sailors hat and a scary Ursula looking chick. That's just me though ; )"

joyce: "A bear being carried off by an huge eagle to the purple mountains as the world explodes in volcanoes. Looks a bit angry."

i hope readers will find entertainment in my coming posts. i'm excited to share more art! a friend once told me that it seemed i was lucky enough to use both sides of my brain with equal strength...that i could be practical and impractical...i considered this a compliment! since i don't have a job right now, i feel like i'm constantly in a state of impracticality and it's total bliss! i haven't had a creative surge like this in years! i hope it is enjoyed! goodbye for now! here's amanda and me:)