A Decade's End & "Among the Stars"

"Among the Stars"

on october 9th of this year i will be turning 29 and so shall begin the last year of my 20s...i've said before that getting older doesn't bother me, but rather the thought of not completing certain goals at a certain time does. i use to have an impressive lists of goals before the age of 30, but it didn't take me long to realize how unrealistic that list was for a somewhat of a procrastinator like myself...at least i'm aware of my flaws! i do have some goals though to complete before this decade of my life's end...i don't necessarily want to list them all but i'll share my biggest 2: lose weight and get fit and healthy and be aggressive about getting my art and writing out in the world. i have faith in myself for completion...and i would like to succeed early on in my last year of my 20s so that i may enjoy my achievements for the remainder of this momentous portion of my life. i hope to ring in my 30s feeling 100% great about my life...i'd also like to celebrate the next decade by a big trip to vegas with all my friends...so put that on your calendars y'all!

i make lists. it may be a compulsive disorder...but i'm not sure...it doesn't really matter to me. my mama started it. i use to love sneaking a peek at her lists to see what she had planned; i don't know why i loved it so much...it was kind of like discovering a christmas list!

i have a list for what i want this next year of my life to look like...from tangible things like clothing and accessories, furniture and decorations to the intangible like success and happiness and adventure! so i'll share some of that...and if anyone wants to reference to this list for birthday or christmas gifts, well that's quite all right with me!

clothing and accessories and other things:
boots (size 6)
fedora hats
feather hair clips
fabulous wardrobe (fabulous body requested prior to fabulous wardrobe if possible haha)
prisma color pencils
large sketching paper
large canvases
gallons of acrylic paint...maybe not gallons
graphite pencils
photo albums
clear corner mounts for photos
pretty things
art things
beautiful shoes (size 6)

furniture and decorations and stuff:
drawing table
patio furniture
chiminea (i don't know how that is spelled...sound it out please)
grill
dining chair tables
bedroom furniture set
candles
coasters
pretty things
money
living room furniture
entertainment glass wear, serving wear, and such
housekeeper
personal chef

intangible:
more energy
successful art career
travel (i suppose that's a tangible thing actually)
ability to function off of 6 or 7 hours of sleep...
things like that...

so that's some of it...it sounds lovely doesn't it? if someone wants to suggest to my husband to bring me flowers or write me little love notes, that would be okay too. well...i'm kind of distracted by football...so i think i'll just wrap this up. i just wanted to share a little bit with y'all since it's been a while since i blogged last. oh! we are moving to virginia in 9 days so i might be a little too busy to write before then...but i'll be back soon with more art and "life's art" segments and more stories of my life. hugs and love!

"Overwhelming Passion"

"Overwhelming Passion"

i have a rough draft of what i wanted this post to be about in my little "creative writing" type notebook...it was going to be a "life's art" segment...but i've decided to save it, and go a different direction here because i've started to bore myself with myself on "life's art." that's not a good situation!!! i only really feel this way though because i actually feel very passionate about the topics i approach, and i don't feel like i've conveyed that passion accurately. my little rough draft delves more in to a stronger telling of my opinions...but i'll share it later.

passion is my word. do you have a word? if i could think of a person to most clearly personify the word passion, it would be myself...i've never met anyone as passionate as me. i know passionate people and people that have passionate views and people that are passionate about what they do or who they love and so on and so forth...but i've never met anyone passionate about so many things as i am passionate about. honestly, this has often times been a fault...i'll find myself WAY too overly emotional about things because i feel such a strong intensity of emotions. i'm not sure how i became this way...but one thing i do know about this characteristic of mine, is that my husband was meant for me to balance out my passionate ways. if i am the personification of passion, my husband is the very opposite! i believe that the only thing he is really passionate about is me lol:) i'm not complaining though:) he is sooooo good at calming me down or bringing things back in to a "normal" perspective. he can shush me...and not in a patronizing way...but rather in a calming zen "find your center" kind of way. he knows when i need it and when i don't...when it comes to my art...there is no way that anyone or anything can come in and turn down my dial!

my passion spreads out my focus...i feel like this has been a challenge. i feel very passionately about photography, drawing, painting, singing, and writing...each one gets the same amount of passion, but they don't each get the same amount of focus. i believe that if i could focus on just one, i could become successful with that endeavor. but i can't focus on just one...i want to wrap it all up together and make a life with all of it at once...i believe this causes me to not excel at any just one. like a "jack of all trades but master of none" type of deal. meh. i'm gonna tell myself to shut up now...

i'm a very fanciful person but also very practical...i describe myself as being a woman with her head in the clouds but her feet on the ground. i can't talk about passion and the things that consume me without trying to analyze and break them down at the same time. so i'm telling myself to shut up now lol:)

you know what i really want to do? let me tell you! i want giant canvases and giant amounts of paint...i want to cover myself in colors and roll around on the canvas! i want to put my whole body into creating something i hope to find visually appealing...and i will do that someday. i want bigger pieces of paper to put visions down in pencil and pastels...smudging and blending with my fingertips and hands. i want to get back the intimacy i once had with my photography...that is old school film with a dark room...so i can be part of every step of the creation in a more hands on stimulates all the senses kind of way...something you can't feel with digital and computers. this is why i love art so much! whether it's writing or drawing or singing or photographing...for me...it allows me to put my whole body in to the expression...a feeling of being able to grasp something concrete out of the abstract. it's like i have so much passion inside me, that can be simplified as a passion for life, that i have to get it out in some form...and it happens to be that i enjoy all different kinds of forms.

well anyway. i've rambled enough and have probably effectively established my place as a crazy lady. oh well...not going to apologize for being me! :) if there is a lesson in any of this, it is to find something to be passionate about. express something intangible in a tangible way. i suppose some people go through life perfectly content without ever feeling too overwhelmed by themselves...but for those who feel like they have something inside that needs to be let out...i suggest belting a song, free writing on whatever is available to write on, or diving in to some finger paints...just to name a few:)

"My Star"