Jumped Twice

we had storms last night and the night before. tommy was away for duty on the night before, so kakashi and i went to bed just the two of us...right when we were really falling asleep, there was a super bright flash of lightning followed by the most jolting crack of thunder! we both flinched and kakashi raised his head to look at me for reassurance. my heart was beating a millions beats a second, but i gently pet his head and told him it was okay...but holy moly it sounded like a gun shot right in the bedroom!

last night, i was watching tommy play god of war III and enjoyin' a drink while kakashi napped on the floor at tommy's feet. we had the window open and the blinds pulled back listening to the rain and thunder and watching the distant flashes of lightning. when all of a sudden, the distant lightning wasn't so distant and sent two bolts down in the wildlife preserve behind the pet area right outside our window...and an even more jolting crack of thunder boomed mightily sending me off the couch and kakashi under the dining table! tommy and i immediately went to our little guy and comforted and pet him...soothed his little shocked soul! and i said, "it's okay...it's okay...mama just almost got hit by lightning is all."

2 nights in a row jumping at the biggest booms i believe i've ever heard in my life! good times!

Dream Pieces

i wrote about my cousin kevin in this post...you should read it before you read this one if you haven't already. kevin's drawing i mentioned there was a collage done with pen...or so i remember anyway. it was a collage of what my young mind perceived as random images...i remember a face and parts of a face drawn throughout...but that's all that comes to mind. but it seems to me that every time i looked at it, i would find something else hidden inside. man i wish i could see it again! i know i would see something completely different than what my childish eyes saw...i would probably find a meaning or a theme perhaps. the drawing i'm going to share today was inspired by the memory of kevin's creation...i wouldn't ever want to copy...and i definitely wouldn't have the patience for the detail he put in to his anyway! but i like the idea of a collage of random bits...mine consists of relevant images in my life...but i don't feel like explaining. so enjoy...see what appeals to you maybe! (the image is a bit crooked, but i will be photographing all of my drawing with a new approach that will be better for reproduction)


i think i will call it..."dream pieces." i wrote something somewhere sometime ago about "shadows of dream pieces." i've been going through a lot of old journals and poetry and random bits of writing, so i'm not sure when i said that...i'll stumble over it again at some point...but that's just what i keep thinkin' of when i look at this drawing. i'm really proud of it actually! i suppose one should be humble and unassuming...but not me. i'm damn happy with this! in case you are wondering, i started in the top right corner and worked over and down...balancing areas with darks and lights and actual images and doodles. everything came to me as i drew...i didn't have a final product in mind when i started it. in fact...i figured i would either succeed or fail...it wasn't until i finished it that i realized i probably would have been pretty pissed if i had spent so much time on something i didn't really like in the end...so it worked out in my favor. i also realized something else...it wasn't difficult for me to do this drawing...and i wasn't focused at all on the possibility that it might look like crap in the end. i feel like whatever i paint or draw will evolve on its own as i create it...i haven't failed myself yet. now there are some finished drawings and paintings that i'm not completely crazy about...but i don't hate them or they grow on me eventually anyway! so i'm going to stick with my technique...it's satisfying and doesn't stress me out...and it's kind of interesting knowing that whatever appears on my paper or canvas comes from a spontaneous unplanned place in my mind.

my dreams are often times completely irrelevant to anything i've ever seen, heard, read, or experienced...they involve intricate plots and complex characters...different worlds entirely! sometime futuristic...never before my time though. oh! except once! i dreamed i saw jimi hendrix in concert and sat on the edge of the stage afterwards visiting with him...he leaned over and kissed me and i woke up...that was a wicked cool dream! but other than that, i don't dream of past time periods. only present or future. i should write them down immediately after waking, but i'm too tired to do that...i should though...hmmm...maybe someday. i really do have the most random dreams...ask my husband! this must be a part of how i am as an artist...i like it.

while i was home i added rainbow colors to my hair...


my mama said, "amy, i love that you're a free spirit...but do you have to be so wild?" i laughed and said yes of course." and then at one point she asked me, "how did you get to be so weird?" and i said, "you raised me that way! and that's a good thing!" she laughed and took the compliment, but it's completely true! my mama raised me to be open minded and ambitious...to be willing to ask questions and learn and explore...and to always want the very best for myself. she's an artist too...she draws and writes beautifully...she has a lovely mind:) so i believe that everything i dream and create comes from a place that has been a part of me since birth...a place my parents allowed to grow and develop with wide open eyes, open heart, and open mind. very early on in my life i learned that the status quo was bullshit and that collective behavior will eventually control one's life if one is not aware that it happens every day all around.

i'm rambling now aren't i? well sorry! i'm talkin' dream pieces here so that's gonna deviate in all different directions. i could even go in to politics and religion...don't worry i won't! haha! but anyway!

i'm distracted now. tommy is home for the weekend and it's our only time together really since he's gone doing navy things so much during the week! but before i sign off...i need to try and send some luck to oklahoma. you see...this is what happened. yesterday in this post i wrote about the horrible heat and desiring the rain again up here and wherever it is needed. and wouldn't ya know it the rain fell today...a lot!!! so...i'm posting "rain" again with hopes that maybe oklahoma will get some precipitation and a nice cool down asap!


hope this works for you oklahoma! oh yes, i would like to mention that it was my friend, liane, who requested i write about rain for oklahoma for good luck! soooo...good luck my beloved okies!

everyone have a great weekend! stay hydrated and cool!

p.s. "she wears a million colors. there's rainbows on her soul. she got a sign above her that says...i'm never growin' old!" ~beth hart~

Rain

i finally finished this drawing that i wrote about here...it only took me a month and 9 days to complete...that's not much...is it? is it? well it kind of is...but you'll see why once i actually show you the whole picture!!! that's not going to happen in this entry though. this is why: when i finish a picture i secure it in corner mounts on black paper thumb tacked to the wall in our second bedroom. i have to photograph it while there is still enough light bouncing around all the walls...and there's just not enough right now...the sunlight is too far removed from the windows in there. so it'll have to wait a little longer...but don't worry...i'll share another drawing! let's see...which one...



now this is not one of my favorites...but it's rain...which would imply cool refreshing water. and since most of the country is experiencing dangerous heat conditions, i'm sure we are all wishing for some cooler weather...and some rain for the areas affected by drought. i did this with oil pastels and although it may appear pretty straight forward and easy...the blue background probably took an hour. there's about 4 shades of blue...i think...that i applied over and over smearing with my fingers and adding shades here and there. it actually kind of drove me crazy. kind of. so then i had a blue background that kind of drove me crazy...what next? well...it was raining...like it constantly does...or did until i returned from oklahoma...here in illinois...so i went with that. big fat rain drops...it only takes one to soak your head or send goosebumps all over your body. yum! but i don't have a name for this piece...hmmm..."rain drops" or "big fat rain drops" or "fat drops"..."green umbrella"...hmmm...let's go with...ugh...let's go with..."rain." i like things simple...usually:) so there you have it!

i literally just wrote a whole paragraph and deleted it because i was rambling like a crazy person...and then forgot where on earth i was going with it! i just thought that should be shared...anywho and gumdrops!

it's too damn hot and the rain that i complained about quite often in the past sounds really good right now! i'm officially lookin' forward to autumn now!

Home

this is the last picture of me in front of the home i grew up in...i took it the day before i left oklahoma to come back to illinois. kakashi and i were in norman...my home town, for a month. about 2 years prior to this last day, my parents learned that their home was being foreclosed. for those 2 years, they were contacted by the mortgage company a few times trying to work out payment options they could handle...options to avoid the foreclosure...but they never panned out. and then most recently, there was the obama bail out option. this was what my parents were waiting to hear about right when i left for illinois. the week i came home to visit, they found out that the bail out wasn't happening for them...the options were out the door...the foreclosure was continuing. the week i came home to oklahoma, i found out that the home i grew up in would be up for the sheriff's sale august 3rd. there are things about this trip home that i want to write about...but tonight...my first entry back in illinois...i want to write about this place.

i was in kindergarten when we moved there...my parents found this place because it was close to my elementary school...a quaint little country school out by lake thunderbird. our home was just right down the street from lake thunderbird. we lived on two and half acres surrounded by thick woods...we couldn't even see our neighbors and didn't have to if we didn't want to! my siblings and friends and i explored the woods and created medieval worlds and fantasy lands full of magic and adventure. we were completely sheltered by trees...there was always a spot for shade...a perfect place to throw a blanket down and journal or draw or play guitar...just daydream or watch the clouds through the leaves. at night the stars were bright little crystals burning so clear in the sky. all i'm doing now is summarizing...i could go way in to depth over all these little bits... and i will have to someday. because when i think about all the stories i have from this place, my memories feel full of magic. i'll have to delve more in to each one...paint the pictures i hold in my head with all the beautiful strokes and colors...it really was such a special place!

for a time i wanted to live in town...have a sidewalk to ride a bike on. not be surrounded by ticks! be closer to the action i suppose. but i appreciated the country life more and more as i got older. while i was home, i got to spend a couple of nights there and even take a couple of naps in my parents bed. sleeping there wasn't like it use to be since i didn't have my own room anymore. but the naps in my parents room were so peaceful. i could smell my mama on her pillow...remembered sneaking in to their bed when i was too afraid of the dark. i'm grateful for those last moments there.



my sister and her husband and son joined me out here with our parents on my last night in oklahoma (my brother was out with his girlfriend...little turd!). we shot off some leftover fireworks, ate spaghetti, played with my nephew, and simply visited. the minutes ticked by and i became more and more emotional as my departure time approached. the flood gates opened when i said goodbye to my sister and nephew...jackson's four year old mind doesn't quite grasp the distance and time apart in my new reality and it makes it tougher for me. and of course i'm always worrying about my sister. i hugged my parents about three times each:) it was hard to walk out that door. they stayed in the doorway as i backed out of the driveway and out in to the street...i drove away crying knowing that it was the last time i would leave that place and drive down that road. i'm not exaggerating at all when i say that this was my hardest goodbye.


now i have to think about oklahoma as being where i am from and focus on establishing "my home" wherever i am. this can be challenging considering that tommy, kakashi, and i are officially a military family...and will most definitely be relocating a few times! however, being away from tommy for a month and being so anxious to return to him helped me put my finger on something. very simply...tommy is home. wherever he is...whenever we are together...that is home. but...my oh my...i'm going to miss this house my parents made in to such a beautiful place to grow up in!